[Eugene frowned not because of the statement but the reference to reputation.]
If you lived in Mobile... [He tried to clarify to move away from the idea that Snafu was clearly scoffing at that Eugene actually hadn't been thinking about directly but when Snafu made that connection he felt a twinge in his heart at it being turned on him.]
I don't have much of a reputation anymore. [It was true enough. He didn't like going into public much. Loud noises, crowds, it was uncomfortable he barely left the safety of the yard in front of his home.] I just meant... if you're here, in Mobile, then... you're here.
[It didn't make sense but nothing really made sense anymore and Eugene was starting to feel all the mixed emotions and everything that came with seeing Snafu again hitting him harder than the anger had.]
[Lord, but he was sweet sometimes. So goddamn earnest that Snafu didn't know how they could stand one another, they were such complete opposites. How had they even become close? Sheer bullheaded persistence on his own part, but how had Eugene ever warmed to him in turn?]
Then I'm here. [He agreed softly, his voice wavering and something breaking apart and shattering behind his eyes.] It's so fuckin' good to see you again, Eugene...
[Eugene nodded. Here. The word echoed in his ears as he stared at Snafu, watching his expression change with his voice.]
Snaf... [Whatever he was going to say trailed off as he closed the distance and gave Snafu a hug whether he wanted it or not, Eugene did.] Don't leave again.. promise... [No matter the circumstances he wanted to keep Snafu from running away from him without a word again, running away from everything. He wanted to tie him to this place in a way that he wasn't sure Snafu had ever been tied to a place before.
[If asked directly, Snafu would've told Eugene to fuck off with his hugs; when faced with the direct action, he clung to Eugene like a life raft in a stormy ocean, his whole body trembling. Never mind being tied to someone or someplace, he hadn't even gotten that kind of frank physical affection much in his life. Sex, sure, but it was a whole other matter: this was both innocent and so much deeper, and it made Snafu's heart wrench painfully in his chest.
When he pulled back, he found he couldn't quite let go, and just wound up staring into Eugene's dark eyes for several long, breathless seconds. Then his own eyes darted back and forth, up and down, trying to take in as much of Eugene's face as he could without blinking. Put together a composite in his mind of all the pieces at this close angle.
He still hadn't moved. But then Eugene's plea rose back to the forefront of his mind, and he nodded weakly.]
[Snafu was trembling in his arms and Eugene found that both terrifying and reassuring. He held him tight and he found himself not wanting to let go.
His throat was tight, when the other pulled back and he didn't release his arms from around him. Eugene met Snafu's stare, his throat still tight and a part of him was terrified that he wouldn't promise that he'd find some way to make it so he wasn't going to feel responsible to Eugene if he left.
But then he said it. The word was simple but powerful and it hit Eugene all at once. So many things welled up inside of him again too much. His grip got tighter and then slackened until he dropped his head down on the other's shoulders because tears were starting to well from deep inside of him and he didn't want Snafu to see them.]
Hold you to it...[the words were soft but a promise of their own.]
[Nothing tended to pull Snafu out of his own emotions but someone else having it worse, especially if it was someone in whom he had some investment. When one of his boys wasn't just sloppy or stupid but looked like a few screws had come loose, Snafu would reassure him in soft, comforting words. You're okay. You're okay.
And he did that for Eugene now, pulling him close again with an arm around his lower back, the other lifting so that he could comb soothing fingers through Eugene's hair. So soft when it wasn't clotted with mud or worse, so glossy; Snafu might've been envious if he wasn't too taken with the feel of it slipping through his fingers.]
You're okay, Sledge. You always been the most okay outta us, no crackin' up now or we'll be together in the loony bin. And I definitely ain't got nothin' so important goin' on that I can't stick around to make sure that never happens.
[Now he wasn't even sure why his near-compulsive joking had returned. Eugene was just crumpled against him and utterly vulnerable, and it made Snafu ache to comfort him in much less welcome ways. Best to keep stroking his back in brisk circles, stroking his hair more gently, until he calmed down.]
[Eugene forced himself to breathe, sucking in deep breaths. At least this attack of emotion hadn't also come with panic and heaving sobs. It'd just been overwhelming and not particularly all bad. But the release of the fear of losing Snafu again had let the flood gates open a little.]
Oh shut up. [Eugene mumbled from against his shoulders and he didn't want to move because his eyes were still teary and the other's hand felt achingly good in his hair. The hug, the touches this was all innocent enough if no one knew anything more. If no one could see inside of him.
Snafu could see him though, he was sure of that.]
I'm not cracking up. [He said softly, releasing a deep breath, he turned his head to the side, rubbing at his eyes to try and erase the trace of his tears. Pulling back, his eyes moved over Snafu's face, studying him and they were still close, he could practically feel his body heat.]
But now we can make sure neither of us crack up, right? [He smiled, reluctantly moving out from the enclosed space they'd created and reaching for the whiskey. After all, this office was hardly private enough to hold one another for too long, eventually that sort of thing would cause questions.]
You'll stay for dinner, okay? Did you already find some place to stay for the night? We got extra rooms here and my father can help get you settled in town. He'll want to. [Eugene nodded. His father had respect for all servicemen, and he'd see Snafu for more than that brazen attitude.]
Crazy leadin' the crazy to sanity. [Before it could seem like Snafu's statement was too sharply mocking, he grinned and raised his glass.] I'll drink to that.
[Then plans started firing out from nowhere again, family dinners and being put up in this first class home and receiving some kind of personal attention from Eugene's dad - it all sounded smothering, and like a recipe for disaster. Here was a good family full of good people who created an exemplary son, and their new house guest was... Snafu.]
You sure? [His voice sounded as much nervous as incredulous.] I got a place for tonight, yeah, but - livin' here after? They don't know me. And it ain't gonna get any better when they do, know what I mean?
[Eugene nodded, his own glass raised and instead of downing it all at once he took a smaller drink from it and then lowered it again, letting his words be digested, waiting anxiously for the other's response.]
Just... [Eugene exhaled, he always a lot more hopeful than Snafu.] Already sure you can't behave yourself in front of my folks? [He joked, because it was easier, it was easier than wanting to offer ideas or hopes because he knew how Snafu saw them, saw him.]
My Pa probably already told Ma that we had a guest for dinner though. You can't get out of that. Would be really rude, you know?
The people I can behave myself with don't even take a whole hand to count off. [He pulled a little face at Eugene, because surely he knew that, but then:] Never tried much neither, but I could. Try. S'worth it.
[Another startled laugh leaves him at that news, and he shakes his head in charmed disbelief.]
When they was handin' out Southern manners, either someone passed over Louisiana or just all the folks I knew. 'Course I'll stay for dinner, I ain't startin' all this off by turnin' down dinner.
[Eugene liked the way that Snafu offered to try, that it was worth it. Because in a way it felt like he was saying that Eugene was worth it. He liked the way that felt.]
Just behave and you're going to get some of the best food stateside. [A simple promise as he lifted the glass to his lips again and finished it. His eyes stayed on Snafu, remembering things that were probably better left over in the battlefield but he couldn't help but think about. The stolen moments that made hell bearable over there.
It was different back in the states though. There was no war. What they did 'mattered'.]
Don't you try to make it sound like anything you got here can beat creole cookin'. Can't nothin' beat good, down home creole cookin'. [He smiled, obviously the most relaxed he'd been since he arrived, and cocked his head almost affectionately at Eugene.] They won't be none the wiser, though, don't you worry. I can manage at least that much charm.
[After that, he had to pause for a deep breath, though. They were talking very serious matters here: moving in with the Sledge family, into a lavish house with staff and every amenity, and Eugene always under the same roof. Even for someone as reckless as him, it made his head spin - or because of that, because it was so much settling in at once.
Even after their long hug, Snafu still felt an urge to make contact with Eugene, just as an anchor in the storm. He settled for something not too affectionate: a hand on Eugene's shoulder, a light squeeze of his fingers, which could be nothing more than thanks.]
Thank you, Eugene. [There was another of those starkly honest expressions on Snafu's face, gratitude etched into every single line.] I never came here thinkin' - I mean, it weren't for all this - but thank you.
Maybe I'll give you the chance to prove that sometime. [Eugene smiled as he watched the other carefully.] I don't doubt you.
[The touch to his shoulder, the firm squeeze made him inhale a bit more sharply. Eugene smiled, at Snafu, trying to ignore the warmth that traveled town his arm to his fingertips at the touch. Snafu's touches had always had that affect but he couldn't blame it on anything else now that they were somewhere safe.]
You're welcome. [Eugene smiled more widely and he took in that look on the other's face pretty sure he's never seen it like that before, rarely seen him so sincere as he had in this room.] I care... if you're around. [It should've been obvious but he wanted to say it.]
[This was where Snafu should've started making all kinds of half-joking, lavish plans for their trip to New Orleans, but he was once again struck dumb by the simple beauty of Eugene's words. I care... if you're around. It meant he wanted Snafu around, and suffered when he wasn't there. That much had been made clear already, but not in such a concise gut-punch of a statement.
Snafu's hand was still on Eugene's shoulder, and he used it to pull him closer, setting down his own drink so that he could - well, he didn't really know what he was going to do yet. He lifted a tentative hand toward Eugene's hair, then shifted its trajectory down to his jawline, brushing his fingertips from earlobe to chin. Both the touch and the hold were tender, but this time Snafu looked starkly afraid, and he let go and took a step back a moment later.]
This whiskey's too fine to be wasted. [He picked up his glass again and grinned, taking his turn to empty it with a couple of swallows.]
[Eugene's eyes stayed on Snafu as the other pulled him closer. He was vaguely aware of the drink that was set aside and he opened his mouth to question him but it caught in his throat the way that words so often did with the other man around.
The gentle touch that followed, the warmth and skittering of sensation that went through him at the ... for lack of any better word... caress. Why was Snafu caressing him and why did it make his stomach flip flop. Eugene stared at Snafu, trying to understand that look and what was happening between them.]
Snafu... [His voice was quiet as the other drained the glass, his tongue feeling a bit tied. The air was thick and heavy around him still. He could hear his heart beating in his ears, a rushing sound that was unsettling. The intimate touch had left him feeling raw and open in a way he didn't quite understand and honestly he was pretty sure Snafu had felt a similar affect.
That look... But Eugene couldn't come up with a damned thing to say.]
[The soft, conflicted way Eugene said his name, and then said nothing else, left Snafu with no idea how to handle his moment of weakness. He'd tried to divert attention, given Eugene an out, but now the other man was just watching him all the more intently and his hands were starting to shake under the scrutiny.
A perfect life was unfurling in front of Snafu. He couldn't fuck it up now because of old feelings, attractions, lust, that were probably 50% lack of outside selection and 50% romantic imprinting on any real bond he could make. So why, if that were the case, did he zero right in on Eugene from the moment he saw him and sink his teeth in until Eugene not longer tried to shake him off? Why was he back here now, like Eugene asked right off the bat?]
Eugene, you ever - [The distance Snafu had placed between them closed right up again, but he didn't touch this time; his eyes kept dancing back and forth between Eugene's eyes and mouth, though, and he licked his own lower lip like a nervous tic every time he paused.] - I mean, we all - we're brothers out there, ain't no one you'd wish a bullet through - but - you ever had someone who - meant more?
[There was no recovering from this. Even Eugene would have to guess what and who he meant. If it wasn't welcome, his entire new life plan would disappear.]
[Eugene inhaled when Snafu pressed in close again. They weren't touching but there was that... feeling again, like static crackling between them and he wasn't sure what it meant but then Snafu started talking, his eyes moving in their wild way but he picked up the pattern.
As Snafu spoke it made more sense to him. There was fear that was dredged up with it as well but Eugene wasn't one that gave in to fear often, if at all.]
Yes. [Eugene said softly, his fingers twitched and he wanted to touch Snafu but he was found himself giving into the fear that any wrong movement would break this moment.] Do you really have to ask that? [His head inclined slightly, meeting Snafu's eyes, his own following that trajectory the other had where the gaze dropped to the other's lips and then back to his eyes.]
You're... [He stumbled, searching for the words.] You always were...for me.
[The always in there was another beautifully frank blow that knocked the wind from Snafu's lungs one more time. Not eventually, not once he learned to put up with Snafu's absurd ways, but always.
When he realized that Eugene had snuck the same sort of furtive glance at his mouth, his lips suddenly felt so dry that he had to lick them top and bottom. This was so impossible, so much harder than getting smacked across the face by girls until one finally decided to take a chance on him instead. He wanted to ask Eugene if he really understood what Snafu meant by more, exactly how much more, but neither of them were doing well at talking.
So instead, he cupped Eugene's jaw more firmly in his hand and tilted his head to just the right angle, then leaned in and kissed him softly. The kiss was tentative, not gentle, because Snafu knew there had still been room for misinterpretation when he did it - no "gentle" kiss ever ached with this much restrained hunger, soft as it was, like it could easily turn a corner into fierce desperation with the slightest encouragement.]
[The silence was heavy. It was if there were all the words they were leaving unspoken hanging in between them as they stared at each other. Eugene saw him licking his lips and his own parted slightly, as if to say something but no words came.
And then Snafu's lips were on his. Eugene felt a wave of shock at first at the contact a part of him panicking and thinking about society, about his family. But some part of his ability to truly care about that had died somewhere on those islands. Somewhere in the jungle was his ability to give a shit about anything other than what really mattered.
What mattered was Snafu... and he'd just kissed him. Eugene could feel the unrestrained ache that called out to his own. He reached up, cupping the side of the other's face as he kissed back. He didn't really know what he was doing but luckily kissing was something that tended to come naturally for the human race.
Snafu was more. He'd always been more but Eugene had never really pictured this but now that it was happening he realized it had been there that desire all along.]
[Something else shattered inside Snafu when Eugene responded to the kiss, but this time it wasn't a bad form of destruction - he'd built this barrier to keep himself at a safe distance even when he'd seemed too close, borderline flirtatious, eyes never leaving Eugene except when battles left him no choice, devoted to the man beyond even what was reasonable for brothers in arms. All of those things were much safer than allowing the rest of the truth to come out and crushing his mouth against Eugene's at exactly the wrong time, which would've been almost any time at all.
They could find time now, though, here in this small Alabama town. It wasn't exactly the perfect setting for their type of... feelings, Snafu thought, still a bit leery of dropping the L-word, but a sight better than World War II. And so that barrier shattered and Snafu slid his hand around the back of Eugene's head to fist in his hair, tugging his head to the right angle just a bit more roughly than he'd tilted it with his hand, then licking right into his mouth without further preamble. Choked little noises kept trying to escape him, gasps that became vocalized just at the end, but he'd just push harder against Eugene's mouth every time; making noises like that was too vulnerable for him, even if Eugene had to have realized by now that this had been building in Snafu for awhile.]
[A quiet gasp slipped from Eugene into their kiss as the other's hand moved into his hair, tugging his head to just how Snafu wanted it. Snafu's tongue brought with his taste and Eugene savored it along with the overwhelming sensations that were suddenly an onslaught with it. Just as much as this kiss was new the realization of the depth of Snafu's feelings... of his own even. He'd never acknowledged it even if it was always there.
The kiss was like nothing Eugene had ever felt. It was hungry desperate and it called to something inside of him that echoed all of those things. He hadn't realized it until Snafu awakened in him. But he couldn't forget where they were.
There was a soft sound of regret when Eugene broke away from Snafu. His hand dropping to his shoulder and his forehead resting against the other's before he moved back.]
Not here. [He said quickly, his breath coming quickly and he wanted nothing more than to kiss him again.] My father... [He gestured toward the open archway that led into the area they were in. That was the only reason.]
[Snafu couldn't hold back his own little whine when Eugene pulled away, but keeping such close contact satisfied him long enough to hear Eugene's explanation. Right, of course. Disapproving family. That was one reputation Eugene wouldn't be willing to lose, and Snafu wouldn't force it on him, either.
Still, he stayed close for the moment, combing his fingers through Eugene's hair and just staring into his eyes for a moment before his smile turned utterly wicked.]
I still got a hotel room here for at least the night.
[A sigh of relief left Eugene when Snafu didn't react badly, when what just happened wasn't taken back in the blink of the eye. He half expected none of that to be real even if it felt like perhaps the single most real thing he'd ever felt.
The other's fingers still in his hair was a calming sensation, soothing away that fear that rose immediately. It'd been just as potent as the fear of discovery.
He already disappointed his parents too much, this was one thing he couldn't subject them to ever finding knowledge of. His father's understanding could only be expected to go so far.
But there was that smile. That made Eugene blush, he could feel the heat spreading and he cleared his throat, looking away from Snafu.] Okay.
[There would be simple enough explanations for his going to town with Snafu. His parents would just be pleased that he's leaving the property.]
[It was hard for Snafu to work out if he was happy, relieved, excited, nervous, scared, or just a bundle of undefined energy because seeing Eugene again had already been such a rollercoaster, but he didn't dwell on that long. The spring in his step could easily have been from little more than reuniting with a friend, as could the bit of extra electricity behind his smile.
He was sure to swing past both of Eugene's parents once more before they left, thanking them for having him in their home and telling his mother in particular what a beautiful home it was: maybe unexpectedly for Eugene, Snafu could put on the charm when he really needed it, and he wasn't making all the help Eugene wanted to give him any harder by being rude to the parents.
Once they were in his car, though, he couldn't stop flashing Eugene that anticipatory sidelong grin. His fingers constantly drummed against the steering wheel with excess energy as he drove them back to the hotel. Inwardly, he was also preparing himself for the fact that this could go exactly nowhere, but - it would be worth it just to kiss Eugene again and feel him respond. He'd waited so long for that without ever thinking he'd get it.]
[The exchange went smoothly with his parents and part of him felt like the truth had to be obvious. But honestly, Snafu was doing such a good time charming his parents he figured that's all they really caught in.
As they were leaving he saw an expression on his father's face like hope and relief that maybe Eugene was coming back home. Eugene figured maybe it was true, feeling more alive than he had in a long time.
Maybe it wouldn't last but for now, he was okay out of the darkness.
The entire way to then hotel, Eugene watched Snafu carefully, his own body thrumming with anticipation, desire awakened.]
What you thinking?
[he asked and his hand reached over and slid through his hair, sliding down the back of his neck before dropping away, hesitant and partly worried someone would somehow see and know.]
Edited (Html fail bc phone) Date: 2016-08-19 10:18 pm (UTC)
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2016-08-19 04:39 am (UTC)If you lived in Mobile... [He tried to clarify to move away from the idea that Snafu was clearly scoffing at that Eugene actually hadn't been thinking about directly but when Snafu made that connection he felt a twinge in his heart at it being turned on him.]
I don't have much of a reputation anymore. [It was true enough. He didn't like going into public much. Loud noises, crowds, it was uncomfortable he barely left the safety of the yard in front of his home.] I just meant... if you're here, in Mobile, then... you're here.
[It didn't make sense but nothing really made sense anymore and Eugene was starting to feel all the mixed emotions and everything that came with seeing Snafu again hitting him harder than the anger had.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 04:46 am (UTC)Then I'm here. [He agreed softly, his voice wavering and something breaking apart and shattering behind his eyes.] It's so fuckin' good to see you again, Eugene...
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Date: 2016-08-19 04:52 am (UTC)Snaf... [Whatever he was going to say trailed off as he closed the distance and gave Snafu a hug whether he wanted it or not, Eugene did.] Don't leave again.. promise... [No matter the circumstances he wanted to keep Snafu from running away from him without a word again, running away from everything. He wanted to tie him to this place in a way that he wasn't sure Snafu had ever been tied to a place before.
He wanted Snafu to belong to Mobile, with him.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 05:01 am (UTC)When he pulled back, he found he couldn't quite let go, and just wound up staring into Eugene's dark eyes for several long, breathless seconds. Then his own eyes darted back and forth, up and down, trying to take in as much of Eugene's face as he could without blinking. Put together a composite in his mind of all the pieces at this close angle.
He still hadn't moved. But then Eugene's plea rose back to the forefront of his mind, and he nodded weakly.]
Promise.
SO MANY FEELINGS
Date: 2016-08-19 05:09 am (UTC)His throat was tight, when the other pulled back and he didn't release his arms from around him. Eugene met Snafu's stare, his throat still tight and a part of him was terrified that he wouldn't promise that he'd find some way to make it so he wasn't going to feel responsible to Eugene if he left.
But then he said it. The word was simple but powerful and it hit Eugene all at once. So many things welled up inside of him again too much. His grip got tighter and then slackened until he dropped his head down on the other's shoulders because tears were starting to well from deep inside of him and he didn't want Snafu to see them.]
Hold you to it...[the words were soft but a promise of their own.]
=
Date: 2016-08-19 05:20 am (UTC)[Nothing tended to pull Snafu out of his own emotions but someone else having it worse, especially if it was someone in whom he had some investment. When one of his boys wasn't just sloppy or stupid but looked like a few screws had come loose, Snafu would reassure him in soft, comforting words. You're okay. You're okay.
And he did that for Eugene now, pulling him close again with an arm around his lower back, the other lifting so that he could comb soothing fingers through Eugene's hair. So soft when it wasn't clotted with mud or worse, so glossy; Snafu might've been envious if he wasn't too taken with the feel of it slipping through his fingers.]
You're okay, Sledge. You always been the most okay outta us, no crackin' up now or we'll be together in the loony bin. And I definitely ain't got nothin' so important goin' on that I can't stick around to make sure that never happens.
[Now he wasn't even sure why his near-compulsive joking had returned. Eugene was just crumpled against him and utterly vulnerable, and it made Snafu ache to comfort him in much less welcome ways. Best to keep stroking his back in brisk circles, stroking his hair more gently, until he calmed down.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 05:29 am (UTC)Oh shut up. [Eugene mumbled from against his shoulders and he didn't want to move because his eyes were still teary and the other's hand felt achingly good in his hair. The hug, the touches this was all innocent enough if no one knew anything more. If no one could see inside of him.
Snafu could see him though, he was sure of that.]
I'm not cracking up. [He said softly, releasing a deep breath, he turned his head to the side, rubbing at his eyes to try and erase the trace of his tears. Pulling back, his eyes moved over Snafu's face, studying him and they were still close, he could practically feel his body heat.]
But now we can make sure neither of us crack up, right? [He smiled, reluctantly moving out from the enclosed space they'd created and reaching for the whiskey. After all, this office was hardly private enough to hold one another for too long, eventually that sort of thing would cause questions.]
You'll stay for dinner, okay? Did you already find some place to stay for the night? We got extra rooms here and my father can help get you settled in town. He'll want to. [Eugene nodded. His father had respect for all servicemen, and he'd see Snafu for more than that brazen attitude.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 05:49 am (UTC)[Then plans started firing out from nowhere again, family dinners and being put up in this first class home and receiving some kind of personal attention from Eugene's dad - it all sounded smothering, and like a recipe for disaster. Here was a good family full of good people who created an exemplary son, and their new house guest was... Snafu.]
You sure? [His voice sounded as much nervous as incredulous.] I got a place for tonight, yeah, but - livin' here after? They don't know me. And it ain't gonna get any better when they do, know what I mean?
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Date: 2016-08-19 05:56 am (UTC)Just... [Eugene exhaled, he always a lot more hopeful than Snafu.] Already sure you can't behave yourself in front of my folks? [He joked, because it was easier, it was easier than wanting to offer ideas or hopes because he knew how Snafu saw them, saw him.]
My Pa probably already told Ma that we had a guest for dinner though. You can't get out of that. Would be really rude, you know?
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Date: 2016-08-19 06:11 am (UTC)[Another startled laugh leaves him at that news, and he shakes his head in charmed disbelief.]
When they was handin' out Southern manners, either someone passed over Louisiana or just all the folks I knew. 'Course I'll stay for dinner, I ain't startin' all this off by turnin' down dinner.
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Date: 2016-08-19 06:15 am (UTC)Just behave and you're going to get some of the best food stateside. [A simple promise as he lifted the glass to his lips again and finished it. His eyes stayed on Snafu, remembering things that were probably better left over in the battlefield but he couldn't help but think about. The stolen moments that made hell bearable over there.
It was different back in the states though. There was no war. What they did 'mattered'.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 07:11 am (UTC)[After that, he had to pause for a deep breath, though. They were talking very serious matters here: moving in with the Sledge family, into a lavish house with staff and every amenity, and Eugene always under the same roof. Even for someone as reckless as him, it made his head spin - or because of that, because it was so much settling in at once.
Even after their long hug, Snafu still felt an urge to make contact with Eugene, just as an anchor in the storm. He settled for something not too affectionate: a hand on Eugene's shoulder, a light squeeze of his fingers, which could be nothing more than thanks.]
Thank you, Eugene. [There was another of those starkly honest expressions on Snafu's face, gratitude etched into every single line.] I never came here thinkin' - I mean, it weren't for all this - but thank you.
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Date: 2016-08-19 07:19 am (UTC)[The touch to his shoulder, the firm squeeze made him inhale a bit more sharply. Eugene smiled, at Snafu, trying to ignore the warmth that traveled town his arm to his fingertips at the touch. Snafu's touches had always had that affect but he couldn't blame it on anything else now that they were somewhere safe.]
You're welcome. [Eugene smiled more widely and he took in that look on the other's face pretty sure he's never seen it like that before, rarely seen him so sincere as he had in this room.] I care... if you're around. [It should've been obvious but he wanted to say it.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 07:25 am (UTC)Snafu's hand was still on Eugene's shoulder, and he used it to pull him closer, setting down his own drink so that he could - well, he didn't really know what he was going to do yet. He lifted a tentative hand toward Eugene's hair, then shifted its trajectory down to his jawline, brushing his fingertips from earlobe to chin. Both the touch and the hold were tender, but this time Snafu looked starkly afraid, and he let go and took a step back a moment later.]
This whiskey's too fine to be wasted. [He picked up his glass again and grinned, taking his turn to empty it with a couple of swallows.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 07:38 am (UTC)The gentle touch that followed, the warmth and skittering of sensation that went through him at the ... for lack of any better word... caress. Why was Snafu caressing him and why did it make his stomach flip flop. Eugene stared at Snafu, trying to understand that look and what was happening between them.]
Snafu... [His voice was quiet as the other drained the glass, his tongue feeling a bit tied. The air was thick and heavy around him still. He could hear his heart beating in his ears, a rushing sound that was unsettling. The intimate touch had left him feeling raw and open in a way he didn't quite understand and honestly he was pretty sure Snafu had felt a similar affect.
That look... But Eugene couldn't come up with a damned thing to say.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 07:51 am (UTC)A perfect life was unfurling in front of Snafu. He couldn't fuck it up now because of old feelings, attractions, lust, that were probably 50% lack of outside selection and 50% romantic imprinting on any real bond he could make. So why, if that were the case, did he zero right in on Eugene from the moment he saw him and sink his teeth in until Eugene not longer tried to shake him off? Why was he back here now, like Eugene asked right off the bat?]
Eugene, you ever - [The distance Snafu had placed between them closed right up again, but he didn't touch this time; his eyes kept dancing back and forth between Eugene's eyes and mouth, though, and he licked his own lower lip like a nervous tic every time he paused.] - I mean, we all - we're brothers out there, ain't no one you'd wish a bullet through - but - you ever had someone who - meant more?
[There was no recovering from this. Even Eugene would have to guess what and who he meant. If it wasn't welcome, his entire new life plan would disappear.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 08:00 am (UTC)As Snafu spoke it made more sense to him. There was fear that was dredged up with it as well but Eugene wasn't one that gave in to fear often, if at all.]
Yes. [Eugene said softly, his fingers twitched and he wanted to touch Snafu but he was found himself giving into the fear that any wrong movement would break this moment.] Do you really have to ask that? [His head inclined slightly, meeting Snafu's eyes, his own following that trajectory the other had where the gaze dropped to the other's lips and then back to his eyes.]
You're... [He stumbled, searching for the words.] You always were...for me.
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Date: 2016-08-19 08:11 am (UTC)When he realized that Eugene had snuck the same sort of furtive glance at his mouth, his lips suddenly felt so dry that he had to lick them top and bottom. This was so impossible, so much harder than getting smacked across the face by girls until one finally decided to take a chance on him instead. He wanted to ask Eugene if he really understood what Snafu meant by more, exactly how much more, but neither of them were doing well at talking.
So instead, he cupped Eugene's jaw more firmly in his hand and tilted his head to just the right angle, then leaned in and kissed him softly. The kiss was tentative, not gentle, because Snafu knew there had still been room for misinterpretation when he did it - no "gentle" kiss ever ached with this much restrained hunger, soft as it was, like it could easily turn a corner into fierce desperation with the slightest encouragement.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 08:28 am (UTC)And then Snafu's lips were on his. Eugene felt a wave of shock at first at the contact a part of him panicking and thinking about society, about his family. But some part of his ability to truly care about that had died somewhere on those islands. Somewhere in the jungle was his ability to give a shit about anything other than what really mattered.
What mattered was Snafu... and he'd just kissed him. Eugene could feel the unrestrained ache that called out to his own. He reached up, cupping the side of the other's face as he kissed back. He didn't really know what he was doing but luckily kissing was something that tended to come naturally for the human race.
Snafu was more. He'd always been more but Eugene had never really pictured this but now that it was happening he realized it had been there that desire all along.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 08:39 am (UTC)They could find time now, though, here in this small Alabama town. It wasn't exactly the perfect setting for their type of... feelings, Snafu thought, still a bit leery of dropping the L-word, but a sight better than World War II. And so that barrier shattered and Snafu slid his hand around the back of Eugene's head to fist in his hair, tugging his head to the right angle just a bit more roughly than he'd tilted it with his hand, then licking right into his mouth without further preamble. Choked little noises kept trying to escape him, gasps that became vocalized just at the end, but he'd just push harder against Eugene's mouth every time; making noises like that was too vulnerable for him, even if Eugene had to have realized by now that this had been building in Snafu for awhile.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 08:49 am (UTC)The kiss was like nothing Eugene had ever felt. It was hungry desperate and it called to something inside of him that echoed all of those things. He hadn't realized it until Snafu awakened in him. But he couldn't forget where they were.
There was a soft sound of regret when Eugene broke away from Snafu. His hand dropping to his shoulder and his forehead resting against the other's before he moved back.]
Not here. [He said quickly, his breath coming quickly and he wanted nothing more than to kiss him again.] My father... [He gestured toward the open archway that led into the area they were in. That was the only reason.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 02:49 pm (UTC)Still, he stayed close for the moment, combing his fingers through Eugene's hair and just staring into his eyes for a moment before his smile turned utterly wicked.]
I still got a hotel room here for at least the night.
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Date: 2016-08-19 09:03 pm (UTC)The other's fingers still in his hair was a calming sensation, soothing away that fear that rose immediately. It'd been just as potent as the fear of discovery.
He already disappointed his parents too much, this was one thing he couldn't subject them to ever finding knowledge of. His father's understanding could only be expected to go so far.
But there was that smile. That made Eugene blush, he could feel the heat spreading and he cleared his throat, looking away from Snafu.] Okay.
[There would be simple enough explanations for his going to town with Snafu. His parents would just be pleased that he's leaving the property.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 10:00 pm (UTC)[It was hard for Snafu to work out if he was happy, relieved, excited, nervous, scared, or just a bundle of undefined energy because seeing Eugene again had already been such a rollercoaster, but he didn't dwell on that long. The spring in his step could easily have been from little more than reuniting with a friend, as could the bit of extra electricity behind his smile.
He was sure to swing past both of Eugene's parents once more before they left, thanking them for having him in their home and telling his mother in particular what a beautiful home it was: maybe unexpectedly for Eugene, Snafu could put on the charm when he really needed it, and he wasn't making all the help Eugene wanted to give him any harder by being rude to the parents.
Once they were in his car, though, he couldn't stop flashing Eugene that anticipatory sidelong grin. His fingers constantly drummed against the steering wheel with excess energy as he drove them back to the hotel. Inwardly, he was also preparing himself for the fact that this could go exactly nowhere, but - it would be worth it just to kiss Eugene again and feel him respond. He'd waited so long for that without ever thinking he'd get it.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 10:18 pm (UTC)As they were leaving he saw an expression on his father's face like hope and relief that maybe Eugene was coming back home. Eugene figured maybe it was true, feeling more alive than he had in a long time.
Maybe it wouldn't last but for now, he was okay out of the darkness.
The entire way to then hotel, Eugene watched Snafu carefully, his own body thrumming with anticipation, desire awakened.]
What you thinking?
[he asked and his hand reached over and slid through his hair, sliding down the back of his neck before dropping away, hesitant and partly worried someone would somehow see and know.]
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