[How Snafu remained acting completely normal after the filthy way he'd talked in the car was beyond Eugene who was still feeling unsettled and excited all at the same time by it. He played the words over still, their meaning that was between the lines. Snafu had meant more than just what he said.
It was a relief to finally be in the room, even though Eugene sort of felt like he was prey and Snafu was stalking him as he backed him into the wall. The look on his face was quite as potent as his words had been and Eugene's body responded to it, aching for Snafu in a way he hadn't realized he wanted until Snafu awakened the things he'd kept hidden.]
Yes.
[The word was low, shaky but he meant it, there wasn't the least hesitation in giving the go to Snafu. There was really no coming back from it. No coming back from giving into Snafu but that's what he wanted, he was sure of it. He met the other's eyes, feeling trapped and set free at the same time in how Snafu pressed him to that wall, narrowing the world so that only he... they existed.]
[For a moment, Snafu could only stare at Eugene in wonder. He was really there, his face sweet and innocent aside from the blacked out hollows that lurked behind all of their eyes now, his body warm and pliant, his voice trembling because he wanted this so badly. It all felt like a dream, like it could slant sideways and disappear at any moment, but it was real.
He was almost carried away by the urge to do something tender, but instead he leaned in and crushed his mouth against Eugene's, nudging the small of his back off the wall with one hand so that he could rest it there and pull their bodies flush. No one could walk in this time, which meant that Snafu was completely unrestrained, tongue curling and sliding across Eugene's and both hands eventually fisting in the back of his shirt. He couldn't help but be torn between wanting this to be as good for Eugene as possible and needing it to happen now.]
[Eugene didn't look away from Snafu, seeing something that was familiar but suddenly meant more. Everything else that they both carried after the war was still there too but there was something good, for them in Snafu's eyes too and Eugene was willing to give Snafu anything to make sure that good stayed there. That it grew.
This time it was different. The feel of the air was even more electric, skittering over his skin as Snafu's mouth crashed into his. Eugene moaned, less restrained than he had been. There was no instinctive worry that this father or mother might walk in and see their son like this. He could give himself over to Snafu, trust him. His body arched as the other's hands pressed between him and the wall, drawing their bodies close.
Pleasure and desire blossomed further, the other's words echoing in his head again and he lifted his hands, curling them into Snafu's sides as he kissed him. Snafu's tongue was in his mouth, filling him with the taste that was nothing like Eugene'd really had before and he responded using his instincts and not second guessing. His tongue pressed to Snafu's, sucking gently if a bit tentatively despite the kiss itself not being so.]
[Eugene's new responsiveness hit Snafu's veins like a drug, every new proof of it - the moan from deep in his throat, the arch of his body to bring theirs into closer contact, the nudge of his hot tongue into Snafu's mouth - sending shudders through his body. It gave him a false sense of frailty, the way he kept trembling, because he was not at all on the verge of collapsing under the weight of this happiness.
In fact, he was buoyed by it, and it only kept ramping up his desire for the man in his arms. When having him pressed against the wall was no longer enough, he grabbed Eugene by the waist and spun him around, guiding him back to the bed without ever breaking their string of ravenous kisses. Eugene's knees eventually hit the mattress and Snafu pushed him down, climbing over his body to straddle him and pin him down by the hips; eyes blazing from above him, he started to work on unbuttoning Eugene's shirt.]
[To say Eugene had never kissed anyone like this would've been a huge understatement. He'd never even dreamed of kissing like this before, the way it was all consuming and intoxicating and all that he could think about was Snafu's lips against his own and how right it felt after all this time and everything they'd gone though.
He barely recognized they were moving until he felt his knees against the mattress, the hungry kiss breaking when he felt it pressing into his back and Snafu firmly over him. His eyes met the other's and they were almost too intense. He swallowed hard, the other's words echoing in his head again. He reached up to work on opening up Snafu's shirt as well, just as eager to have him.]
snaf, why'd you wait so long? [There were a million reasons it could be, probably was but he wanted to know what he would select as the reason.]
His hands stilled just as he was about to pop a button, and that fierce intensity left his eyes, replaced by an oddly lost look before he glanced away. Even with Eugene right under him, ready and willing, the question took him back so fast and hard that his head reeled with vertigo. There were a million reasons, but he didn't want to sneer something about fucking on piles of corpses that sunk slowly into the mud with every thrust - with anyone else, he probably would've gone that dark and disgusting to save face, but not Sledge.
No, Sledge had seen this lost look in his eyes before. He'd seen Snafu shrink up as the artificial size he created around himself with attitude and bombast deflated, then his physical body curled up in turn, until he almost seemed to grow translucent around the edges because he usually shone so bright. Eugene had seen more of him than almost anyone else.]
Shit. [He chuckled, but the sound didn't come with a smile.] I weren't waitin', Sledge. Back then - there - I ain't never thought anything like this could happen. Not really.
[Eugene's hands didn't stop until they had finished unbuttoning Snafu's shirt, even when the other had, even with that lost look. It made his heart clench. He recognized it and he regretted the question. It was a dumb thing to ask and he shouldn't have. He bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to feel a shooting pain as he stared up at him.
The shirt was undone and Eugene kept his eyes on Snafu, still feeling regret for even asking as he answered.] You didn't think I... [Honestly, Eugene wouldn't have thought he would either until he did, until Snafu had kissed him and it made more sense than anything had in a long time.] I shouldn't have asked.
[His fingers slid over the other's stomach, hands splaying upward as he looked at him.]
[No more than it would've been about anyone else in the Marines, away at war: not the first or even the last place Snafu would've thought of making a match. But Eugene wore him down without trying, a deadpan joke here and a heartbreakingly conflicted frown there, until Snafu knew he'd be risking too much even just by making a play for something physical. A nameless, meaningless source of relief. It would never have worked.
It wasn't really about Eugene, though, even for all that. It was about the war, and Snafu falling where he never should've let himself, and the empty husk of who he once was being all he had to offer.
His eyes fluttered shut as Eugene's warm hands worked their way up his bare stomach, muscles twitching under the touch. He was still every bit as desperate as he'd been seconds ago, but just for this brief moment in time, he wanted to slow things down and savour the touch.]
Yeah, I understand. [Eugene wasn't sure he did completely but he understood enough. He felt guilty for asking the question still, unsure if he'd done damage to what was happening between them even if the other was still there. His hands kept moving up, fingers brushing over nipples then spreading out over his shoulders.] Snafu... It doesn't matter now. Now, you have me.
[The words were soft and to think earlier that day he'd felt alone and lost and then Snafu came and the world righted again, he wasn't alone. No one understood who he was, what he'd gone through better. No one knew who he had become because of the war more than Snafu and Eugene knew that was only the tail end of what made this so right between them. It wasn't just shared experience. And despite knowing what people would think if they found out, that no one would accept them, to Eugene it was right.]
I'm not going anywhere. [He murmured, hands sliding behind the other's neck, tugging his head down as he kept his eyes on his.]
[Eugene had seen him look scared and overwhelmed before, in moments when both of them felt their toes curl around the edge of sanity and could only use one another to brace against the screaming wind that wanted to provide that final nudge. Even though he was still scared, and still overwhelmed, this looked different; he was being presented with a chance at happiness, not oblivion, and not some random act of fate but a specific happiness he'd craved for years.]
I got you. [He repeated it with shaky disbelief, eyes huge and glassy as they gazed at one another from such close range.] You - you ain't goin' nowhere. Gene -
[When he tucked his face deep into the crook of Eugene's neck, the way his body had started to tremble and seize could've been laughter or tears, and the sound didn't make it any clearer.]
[Eugene nodded, closing his eyes as the other's face pressed into his neck. He held him gently then. There was so much they'd been through to get here and there was so much about being here and he knew that was something that was hard in it's way for Snafu, much harder than it was for Eugene.]
Yeah, I'm here. I'll always be here. [He promised, words whispered into his ear, fingers sliding through his hair while his other hand ran down his back gently. He didn't know whether it was laughter or tears but it didn't really matter either way.]
[He was both crying and laughing, as it turned out, his face damp and swollen but lit up in a smile when he propped himself up to look at Eugene again. It wasn't exactly his usual smile, either; for once, he looked more like he was laughing at himself.]
I wanted you for so damn long... [Eugene's hands felt so warm and soft on his back, almost girlishly soft with the callouses they'd all borne during wartime now healed and sloughed off. Snafu had to close his eyes for a moment and take a deep breath before he could continue.] ... and now that I got you, all I wanna do is hold you. Don't that just make you sick?
[Eugene stared up at him, tilting his head because this was certainly not a sight he'd ever seen before and honestly, there was something kind of beautiful about it.]
No. [Eugene answered, his fingers rubbing over his back as he stared at him, memorizing this new softness and openness on Snafu's face.]
[Tilting his head with an amused grin, Snafu slowly climbed off Eugene's body to curl against him from the side instead. They could've been fucking like rabbits by now, but Eugene always had to puzzle things out, so of course they ended up here instead: Eugene holding Snafu close and soothing him while he was nearly crushed by emotion.
That was alright, though. He'd come to Mobile ready to face much worse, and somehow ended up with the best case scenario.]
I ain't - I never - [With the way he was struggling against the words, Eugene may have been able to guess what they were.] - I never had nothin' like this in my life before. No one like you.
[Eugene didn't mind that things had gotten side tracked. All that had mattered to him was having Snafu there, being with him and this was no less special between them as the other curled into his side.
He didn't stop holding him, their bodies close and he felt his throat tighten when Snafu started to speak. It wasn't hard to understand, to know what all was being said even without the words.]
Hope you won't have no one else like me until I'm dead and gone. [it was said faintly, a promise in it's way.]
[If one of them were a girl, that would've been a marriage proposal. Snafu didn't really know if he was relieved or upset that such a thing could never happen, because he couldn't see himself as the marrying type for anyone, but - he'd like to give Eugene some legitimacy, if there were any way. He wasn't suited to living a lie and hiding in the shadows, at least not as much as Snafu was.
Until I'm dead and gone, Snafu thought to himself, repeated over and over in his head until he had to chuckle as he always did when something was too heavy. Pretend he could ever dismiss such an impactful statement.]
[Eugene lifted one shoulder, fingers still rubbing over his back, feeling the notches in his spine.]
You didn't fool me enough to make me not like you is the problem. [Because he saw who Snafu was and he really, really liked that person, needed him. He was something completely different from what Eugene had ever known. He'd been the person that was there when Eugene needed someone the most, time and time again.
He was someone Eugene wanted to be there for and have be there for him for the rest of his life. It was romantic and perhaps it was non sensical but he didn't give a damn about that.]
[That - was a very intense statement, and one that showed just how well Eugene really knew him. Deep down, right to the core. Having someone know him that well and want him around on a long-term basis sounded like more than Snafu ever would've hoped for, really.
It finally helped him to find the words: not the most sentimental thing that had been said here today, but still considered the most powerful a person could hear in their lives.]
Good thing, too. 'Cause I love you, Gene. [A little flicker of fear once the words were actually out made him press in to kiss Eugene again before he could answer, before Snafu could even see his reaction.]
[The words took Eugene by complete surprise. It's not that the idea of Snafu loving him was a surprise but that he said something like that surprised the shit out of Eugene in the best way possible. A smile curled over his lips, lighting all the way to his eyes in a way he hadn't looked so alive in a long time.
But he didn't have time to say it back Eugene's lips were covered by Snafu's kiss. He let it linger, just for a few moments before he pulled back stubbornly, that same happy expression on his face. He hadn't realized it until the words were between them that that was how deep the feelings with.
Love was why he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Snafu.]
I love you too.
[And then it was his turn to lean in and kiss him, though there was no fear behind it, just the desire to seal those confessions with the tangible feeling of their lips on one another's.]
[Snafu didn't look like he quite knew how to handle hearing the words in return. He didn't look unhappy, a small smile playing over his face, but he didn't have that same kind of soaring happiness Eugene did either. More than anything, he was so quietly stunned that he looked almost shy, at least until Eugene kissed him again.
This was something he knew how to do: he could express himself physically, even if it had only ever been for pleasure before, never real emotion. Somehow, he felt like the latter came through strongly enough as Eugene's soft kiss turned hungrier on Snafu's lips, tongue sliding into his mouth and curling eagerly over his. When that was no longer enough, he rolled Eugene onto his back again and grabbed him by the wrists, pinning his hands over his head; with a devilish smirk, he started to roll his hips down slowly and grind against Eugene, picking back up to the pace they'd left behind.]
[The way that Snafu had looked more subdued didn't worry Eugene all that much. A part of him could understand the reaction and could understand the moment that they kissed that was an easier expression for Snafu.
The kiss started off innocently enough, Eugene could feel it shift, though, Snafu wanting more and god so did Eugene. He wanted anything that Snafu would give him because there was certainty now that it was far more than just the physical, there were emotions they both shared, this was special and he didn't have to guess or suppose why.
He knew. They loved each other. The repercussions could be worried about later. He knew there were aspects of reality that would have to be faced but it didn't matter yet and he didn't want to focus on that, not as Snafu's kiss became more heated, their bodies rolling until Snafu was over him and Eugene was on his back again. The difference being feeling his wrists pressed down into the mattress over his head, Snafu restricting his movements.
Eugene looked up at him, his breathing quicker now and he had been about to say something but then Snafu pressed against him and Eugene's eyes fluttered shut with an unchecked moan, his hips arching instinctively. He wanted Snafu in anyway, any misgivings or doubts completely wiped away. He already belonged to Snafu anyway. They belonged to each other.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2016-08-20 02:45 am (UTC)It was a relief to finally be in the room, even though Eugene sort of felt like he was prey and Snafu was stalking him as he backed him into the wall. The look on his face was quite as potent as his words had been and Eugene's body responded to it, aching for Snafu in a way he hadn't realized he wanted until Snafu awakened the things he'd kept hidden.]
Yes.
[The word was low, shaky but he meant it, there wasn't the least hesitation in giving the go to Snafu. There was really no coming back from it. No coming back from giving into Snafu but that's what he wanted, he was sure of it. He met the other's eyes, feeling trapped and set free at the same time in how Snafu pressed him to that wall, narrowing the world so that only he... they existed.]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-20 09:12 pm (UTC)He was almost carried away by the urge to do something tender, but instead he leaned in and crushed his mouth against Eugene's, nudging the small of his back off the wall with one hand so that he could rest it there and pull their bodies flush. No one could walk in this time, which meant that Snafu was completely unrestrained, tongue curling and sliding across Eugene's and both hands eventually fisting in the back of his shirt. He couldn't help but be torn between wanting this to be as good for Eugene as possible and needing it to happen now.]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-20 09:22 pm (UTC)This time it was different. The feel of the air was even more electric, skittering over his skin as Snafu's mouth crashed into his. Eugene moaned, less restrained than he had been. There was no instinctive worry that this father or mother might walk in and see their son like this. He could give himself over to Snafu, trust him. His body arched as the other's hands pressed between him and the wall, drawing their bodies close.
Pleasure and desire blossomed further, the other's words echoing in his head again and he lifted his hands, curling them into Snafu's sides as he kissed him. Snafu's tongue was in his mouth, filling him with the taste that was nothing like Eugene'd really had before and he responded using his instincts and not second guessing. His tongue pressed to Snafu's, sucking gently if a bit tentatively despite the kiss itself not being so.]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-25 06:04 pm (UTC)In fact, he was buoyed by it, and it only kept ramping up his desire for the man in his arms. When having him pressed against the wall was no longer enough, he grabbed Eugene by the waist and spun him around, guiding him back to the bed without ever breaking their string of ravenous kisses. Eugene's knees eventually hit the mattress and Snafu pushed him down, climbing over his body to straddle him and pin him down by the hips; eyes blazing from above him, he started to work on unbuttoning Eugene's shirt.]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-25 06:35 pm (UTC)He barely recognized they were moving until he felt his knees against the mattress, the hungry kiss breaking when he felt it pressing into his back and Snafu firmly over him. His eyes met the other's and they were almost too intense. He swallowed hard, the other's words echoing in his head again. He reached up to work on opening up Snafu's shirt as well, just as eager to have him.]
snaf, why'd you wait so long? [There were a million reasons it could be, probably was but he wanted to know what he would select as the reason.]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-25 06:50 pm (UTC)His hands stilled just as he was about to pop a button, and that fierce intensity left his eyes, replaced by an oddly lost look before he glanced away. Even with Eugene right under him, ready and willing, the question took him back so fast and hard that his head reeled with vertigo. There were a million reasons, but he didn't want to sneer something about fucking on piles of corpses that sunk slowly into the mud with every thrust - with anyone else, he probably would've gone that dark and disgusting to save face, but not Sledge.
No, Sledge had seen this lost look in his eyes before. He'd seen Snafu shrink up as the artificial size he created around himself with attitude and bombast deflated, then his physical body curled up in turn, until he almost seemed to grow translucent around the edges because he usually shone so bright. Eugene had seen more of him than almost anyone else.]
Shit. [He chuckled, but the sound didn't come with a smile.] I weren't waitin', Sledge. Back then - there - I ain't never thought anything like this could happen. Not really.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-25 06:57 pm (UTC)The shirt was undone and Eugene kept his eyes on Snafu, still feeling regret for even asking as he answered.] You didn't think I... [Honestly, Eugene wouldn't have thought he would either until he did, until Snafu had kissed him and it made more sense than anything had in a long time.] I shouldn't have asked.
[His fingers slid over the other's stomach, hands splaying upward as he looked at him.]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-25 07:47 pm (UTC)[No more than it would've been about anyone else in the Marines, away at war: not the first or even the last place Snafu would've thought of making a match. But Eugene wore him down without trying, a deadpan joke here and a heartbreakingly conflicted frown there, until Snafu knew he'd be risking too much even just by making a play for something physical. A nameless, meaningless source of relief. It would never have worked.
It wasn't really about Eugene, though, even for all that. It was about the war, and Snafu falling where he never should've let himself, and the empty husk of who he once was being all he had to offer.
His eyes fluttered shut as Eugene's warm hands worked their way up his bare stomach, muscles twitching under the touch. He was still every bit as desperate as he'd been seconds ago, but just for this brief moment in time, he wanted to slow things down and savour the touch.]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-25 08:00 pm (UTC)[The words were soft and to think earlier that day he'd felt alone and lost and then Snafu came and the world righted again, he wasn't alone. No one understood who he was, what he'd gone through better. No one knew who he had become because of the war more than Snafu and Eugene knew that was only the tail end of what made this so right between them. It wasn't just shared experience. And despite knowing what people would think if they found out, that no one would accept them, to Eugene it was right.]
I'm not going anywhere. [He murmured, hands sliding behind the other's neck, tugging his head down as he kept his eyes on his.]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-31 08:47 pm (UTC)I got you. [He repeated it with shaky disbelief, eyes huge and glassy as they gazed at one another from such close range.] You - you ain't goin' nowhere. Gene -
[When he tucked his face deep into the crook of Eugene's neck, the way his body had started to tremble and seize could've been laughter or tears, and the sound didn't make it any clearer.]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-31 11:32 pm (UTC)Yeah, I'm here. I'll always be here. [He promised, words whispered into his ear, fingers sliding through his hair while his other hand ran down his back gently. He didn't know whether it was laughter or tears but it didn't really matter either way.]
no subject
Date: 2016-09-01 12:01 am (UTC)I wanted you for so damn long... [Eugene's hands felt so warm and soft on his back, almost girlishly soft with the callouses they'd all borne during wartime now healed and sloughed off. Snafu had to close his eyes for a moment and take a deep breath before he could continue.] ... and now that I got you, all I wanna do is hold you. Don't that just make you sick?
no subject
Date: 2016-09-01 12:32 am (UTC)No. [Eugene answered, his fingers rubbing over his back as he stared at him, memorizing this new softness and openness on Snafu's face.]
It makes me happy you ridiculous man.
no subject
Date: 2016-09-01 02:24 am (UTC)That was alright, though. He'd come to Mobile ready to face much worse, and somehow ended up with the best case scenario.]
I ain't - I never - [With the way he was struggling against the words, Eugene may have been able to guess what they were.] - I never had nothin' like this in my life before. No one like you.
no subject
Date: 2016-09-01 02:53 am (UTC)He didn't stop holding him, their bodies close and he felt his throat tighten when Snafu started to speak. It wasn't hard to understand, to know what all was being said even without the words.]
Hope you won't have no one else like me until I'm dead and gone. [it was said faintly, a promise in it's way.]
no subject
Date: 2016-09-01 03:35 am (UTC)Until I'm dead and gone, Snafu thought to himself, repeated over and over in his head until he had to chuckle as he always did when something was too heavy. Pretend he could ever dismiss such an impactful statement.]
How'd I ever fool you into liking me so much?
no subject
Date: 2016-09-01 05:47 am (UTC)You didn't fool me enough to make me not like you is the problem. [Because he saw who Snafu was and he really, really liked that person, needed him. He was something completely different from what Eugene had ever known. He'd been the person that was there when Eugene needed someone the most, time and time again.
He was someone Eugene wanted to be there for and have be there for him for the rest of his life. It was romantic and perhaps it was non sensical but he didn't give a damn about that.]
no subject
Date: 2016-09-03 11:12 pm (UTC)It finally helped him to find the words: not the most sentimental thing that had been said here today, but still considered the most powerful a person could hear in their lives.]
Good thing, too. 'Cause I love you, Gene. [A little flicker of fear once the words were actually out made him press in to kiss Eugene again before he could answer, before Snafu could even see his reaction.]
no subject
Date: 2016-09-04 12:10 am (UTC)But he didn't have time to say it back Eugene's lips were covered by Snafu's kiss. He let it linger, just for a few moments before he pulled back stubbornly, that same happy expression on his face. He hadn't realized it until the words were between them that that was how deep the feelings with.
Love was why he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Snafu.]
I love you too.
[And then it was his turn to lean in and kiss him, though there was no fear behind it, just the desire to seal those confessions with the tangible feeling of their lips on one another's.]
no subject
Date: 2016-09-04 01:24 am (UTC)This was something he knew how to do: he could express himself physically, even if it had only ever been for pleasure before, never real emotion. Somehow, he felt like the latter came through strongly enough as Eugene's soft kiss turned hungrier on Snafu's lips, tongue sliding into his mouth and curling eagerly over his. When that was no longer enough, he rolled Eugene onto his back again and grabbed him by the wrists, pinning his hands over his head; with a devilish smirk, he started to roll his hips down slowly and grind against Eugene, picking back up to the pace they'd left behind.]
no subject
Date: 2016-09-04 02:04 am (UTC)The kiss started off innocently enough, Eugene could feel it shift, though, Snafu wanting more and god so did Eugene. He wanted anything that Snafu would give him because there was certainty now that it was far more than just the physical, there were emotions they both shared, this was special and he didn't have to guess or suppose why.
He knew. They loved each other. The repercussions could be worried about later. He knew there were aspects of reality that would have to be faced but it didn't matter yet and he didn't want to focus on that, not as Snafu's kiss became more heated, their bodies rolling until Snafu was over him and Eugene was on his back again. The difference being feeling his wrists pressed down into the mattress over his head, Snafu restricting his movements.
Eugene looked up at him, his breathing quicker now and he had been about to say something but then Snafu pressed against him and Eugene's eyes fluttered shut with an unchecked moan, his hips arching instinctively. He wanted Snafu in anyway, any misgivings or doubts completely wiped away. He already belonged to Snafu anyway. They belonged to each other.]