[Eugene inhaled when Snafu pressed in close again. They weren't touching but there was that... feeling again, like static crackling between them and he wasn't sure what it meant but then Snafu started talking, his eyes moving in their wild way but he picked up the pattern.
As Snafu spoke it made more sense to him. There was fear that was dredged up with it as well but Eugene wasn't one that gave in to fear often, if at all.]
Yes. [Eugene said softly, his fingers twitched and he wanted to touch Snafu but he was found himself giving into the fear that any wrong movement would break this moment.] Do you really have to ask that? [His head inclined slightly, meeting Snafu's eyes, his own following that trajectory the other had where the gaze dropped to the other's lips and then back to his eyes.]
You're... [He stumbled, searching for the words.] You always were...for me.
[The always in there was another beautifully frank blow that knocked the wind from Snafu's lungs one more time. Not eventually, not once he learned to put up with Snafu's absurd ways, but always.
When he realized that Eugene had snuck the same sort of furtive glance at his mouth, his lips suddenly felt so dry that he had to lick them top and bottom. This was so impossible, so much harder than getting smacked across the face by girls until one finally decided to take a chance on him instead. He wanted to ask Eugene if he really understood what Snafu meant by more, exactly how much more, but neither of them were doing well at talking.
So instead, he cupped Eugene's jaw more firmly in his hand and tilted his head to just the right angle, then leaned in and kissed him softly. The kiss was tentative, not gentle, because Snafu knew there had still been room for misinterpretation when he did it - no "gentle" kiss ever ached with this much restrained hunger, soft as it was, like it could easily turn a corner into fierce desperation with the slightest encouragement.]
[The silence was heavy. It was if there were all the words they were leaving unspoken hanging in between them as they stared at each other. Eugene saw him licking his lips and his own parted slightly, as if to say something but no words came.
And then Snafu's lips were on his. Eugene felt a wave of shock at first at the contact a part of him panicking and thinking about society, about his family. But some part of his ability to truly care about that had died somewhere on those islands. Somewhere in the jungle was his ability to give a shit about anything other than what really mattered.
What mattered was Snafu... and he'd just kissed him. Eugene could feel the unrestrained ache that called out to his own. He reached up, cupping the side of the other's face as he kissed back. He didn't really know what he was doing but luckily kissing was something that tended to come naturally for the human race.
Snafu was more. He'd always been more but Eugene had never really pictured this but now that it was happening he realized it had been there that desire all along.]
[Something else shattered inside Snafu when Eugene responded to the kiss, but this time it wasn't a bad form of destruction - he'd built this barrier to keep himself at a safe distance even when he'd seemed too close, borderline flirtatious, eyes never leaving Eugene except when battles left him no choice, devoted to the man beyond even what was reasonable for brothers in arms. All of those things were much safer than allowing the rest of the truth to come out and crushing his mouth against Eugene's at exactly the wrong time, which would've been almost any time at all.
They could find time now, though, here in this small Alabama town. It wasn't exactly the perfect setting for their type of... feelings, Snafu thought, still a bit leery of dropping the L-word, but a sight better than World War II. And so that barrier shattered and Snafu slid his hand around the back of Eugene's head to fist in his hair, tugging his head to the right angle just a bit more roughly than he'd tilted it with his hand, then licking right into his mouth without further preamble. Choked little noises kept trying to escape him, gasps that became vocalized just at the end, but he'd just push harder against Eugene's mouth every time; making noises like that was too vulnerable for him, even if Eugene had to have realized by now that this had been building in Snafu for awhile.]
[A quiet gasp slipped from Eugene into their kiss as the other's hand moved into his hair, tugging his head to just how Snafu wanted it. Snafu's tongue brought with his taste and Eugene savored it along with the overwhelming sensations that were suddenly an onslaught with it. Just as much as this kiss was new the realization of the depth of Snafu's feelings... of his own even. He'd never acknowledged it even if it was always there.
The kiss was like nothing Eugene had ever felt. It was hungry desperate and it called to something inside of him that echoed all of those things. He hadn't realized it until Snafu awakened in him. But he couldn't forget where they were.
There was a soft sound of regret when Eugene broke away from Snafu. His hand dropping to his shoulder and his forehead resting against the other's before he moved back.]
Not here. [He said quickly, his breath coming quickly and he wanted nothing more than to kiss him again.] My father... [He gestured toward the open archway that led into the area they were in. That was the only reason.]
[Snafu couldn't hold back his own little whine when Eugene pulled away, but keeping such close contact satisfied him long enough to hear Eugene's explanation. Right, of course. Disapproving family. That was one reputation Eugene wouldn't be willing to lose, and Snafu wouldn't force it on him, either.
Still, he stayed close for the moment, combing his fingers through Eugene's hair and just staring into his eyes for a moment before his smile turned utterly wicked.]
I still got a hotel room here for at least the night.
[A sigh of relief left Eugene when Snafu didn't react badly, when what just happened wasn't taken back in the blink of the eye. He half expected none of that to be real even if it felt like perhaps the single most real thing he'd ever felt.
The other's fingers still in his hair was a calming sensation, soothing away that fear that rose immediately. It'd been just as potent as the fear of discovery.
He already disappointed his parents too much, this was one thing he couldn't subject them to ever finding knowledge of. His father's understanding could only be expected to go so far.
But there was that smile. That made Eugene blush, he could feel the heat spreading and he cleared his throat, looking away from Snafu.] Okay.
[There would be simple enough explanations for his going to town with Snafu. His parents would just be pleased that he's leaving the property.]
[It was hard for Snafu to work out if he was happy, relieved, excited, nervous, scared, or just a bundle of undefined energy because seeing Eugene again had already been such a rollercoaster, but he didn't dwell on that long. The spring in his step could easily have been from little more than reuniting with a friend, as could the bit of extra electricity behind his smile.
He was sure to swing past both of Eugene's parents once more before they left, thanking them for having him in their home and telling his mother in particular what a beautiful home it was: maybe unexpectedly for Eugene, Snafu could put on the charm when he really needed it, and he wasn't making all the help Eugene wanted to give him any harder by being rude to the parents.
Once they were in his car, though, he couldn't stop flashing Eugene that anticipatory sidelong grin. His fingers constantly drummed against the steering wheel with excess energy as he drove them back to the hotel. Inwardly, he was also preparing himself for the fact that this could go exactly nowhere, but - it would be worth it just to kiss Eugene again and feel him respond. He'd waited so long for that without ever thinking he'd get it.]
[The exchange went smoothly with his parents and part of him felt like the truth had to be obvious. But honestly, Snafu was doing such a good time charming his parents he figured that's all they really caught in.
As they were leaving he saw an expression on his father's face like hope and relief that maybe Eugene was coming back home. Eugene figured maybe it was true, feeling more alive than he had in a long time.
Maybe it wouldn't last but for now, he was okay out of the darkness.
The entire way to then hotel, Eugene watched Snafu carefully, his own body thrumming with anticipation, desire awakened.]
What you thinking?
[he asked and his hand reached over and slid through his hair, sliding down the back of his neck before dropping away, hesitant and partly worried someone would somehow see and know.]
Edited (Html fail bc phone) Date: 2016-08-19 10:18 pm (UTC)
[Snafu was opening his mouth to answer when Eugene reached out and touched him - the warm path of contact from his scalp to the nape of his neck made him sit perfectly upright, mouth falling open just a little and goosebumps breaking out across his neck and shoulders. No moments of accidental, unintentional contact, as electric as they had been at the time, could've matched up to that.
The corner of his mouth twitched upward once or twice before he actually managed to smile, eyes sliding back to Eugene for as long as he could afford while on the road.]
I'm thinkin' 'bout how long I wanted to touch you, and all the different ways, and all the shit I did to get close without bein' too close, and how now we're both finally free, away from that fuckin' war, and all I wanna do is hear you scream 'cause somethin's so damn good you can barely stand it for once.
[Well, it was an honest answer, and an evocative one. As if to punctuate it, he pulled into the hotel's parking lot so sharply that gravel shot out from under his tires in a wave, then looked at Eugene more directly.]
[The words were... vulgar and made Eugene shift in his seat, staring at his hands as his face lit up a bright red. Fucking Snafu, he cursed mentally, embarrassed by the way the words made him react, the fact that despite the embarrassment he liked it and there was that heavy tension full of need and desire settled over him again. One strum of Snafu's fingers and he'd break for him.
He wouldn't mind it though. It was right, for him.]
I... [He trailed off, clearing his throat and having a hard time looking at Snafu and knowing his face was surely still not it's natural color.] How long? [Eugene asked instead, not sure what exactly he was thinking because now he couldn't stop thinking about what Snafu had said.
Now that they were both free... Could they do that for each other? Give each other something so good and could that last? Would this become a casualty at some point?]
[Oh, but he could've been so much more vulgar, and still might if Eugene kept reacting that strongly. He knew just what the furtive little movements meant, that discomfort starting to build between Eugene's legs already, and he fully planned to break Eugene into pieces. Quietly, secretly, he hoped he might be able to put them back together better, and Eugene might be able to do the same for him.
He couldn't say too much more in the car, though, because they had to get to the room before Eugene ended up fully aroused from words alone. Grinning almost gently, he brushed his knuckles down Eugene's flushed cheek in a soft caress as he took the time to answer that question first. It was a big one, but Snafu had only been talking about attraction, nothing deeper - that was an important distinction.]
From the first time I saw you, Sledgehammer. Can't believe you never saw it burnin' away in my eyes every time I looked at you.
[With that, he swung his door open and pocketed his keys, standing with his usual loose-limbed ease as he waited for Eugene to join him.]
[Eugene could feel Snafu's satisfaction like it was it's own atmospheric disturbance. He found he didn't mind it and when the other touched him, the gentle caress to his cheek his eyes closed for a brief moment before finally looking at him again. He didn't look away as the other answered.
He realized then that he had saw it but at the time he hadn't known what it meant. There was no chance to say anything back and he exhaled, shifting uncomfortably in the seat again and feeling like everyone would be able to see right through him as he got out of the car. His hands quickly shoved down into his pants, keeping his gaze downward because he was sure if he looked at Snafu again he was going to go bright red once more.
He walked with him, more than ready to get into the privacy of the hotel room. A part of him was sure that everyone would know but he knew that was ludicrous. No one's minds just went there.]
[Snafu was the casual one for both of them, nodding and grinning affably to people who seemed inclined to notice Eugene's discomfort before they could take too much notice. They were intense in different ways, the two of them: Snafu could put up a better act of being nonchalant until he hit a certain breaking point, whereas Eugene showed his intensity far more openly but on a steadier, lower boil.
When Eugene finally commented on what he'd said, Snafu averted his eyes, almost childishly pleased at having been noticed even if it wasn't understood. He didn't speak up or look at Eugene again until they were both in the room, the door closed behind them - at which point he locked eyes with Eugene and started to slowly, slowly back him up into the nearest wall. He didn't just look like he wanted Eugene, he looked like he wanted to devour him.
He didn't stop his forward progression until Eugene's back was pressed flat against the wall and there was barely enough room between them to breathe, at which point he pressed one hand against the wall beside Eugene's head, then the other on the opposite side.]
You ready?
[It was a warning of sorts, just as it sounded: not that they couldn't stop once they started, but that if he stayed on board, this would be far more everything than he could've possibly imagined.]
[How Snafu remained acting completely normal after the filthy way he'd talked in the car was beyond Eugene who was still feeling unsettled and excited all at the same time by it. He played the words over still, their meaning that was between the lines. Snafu had meant more than just what he said.
It was a relief to finally be in the room, even though Eugene sort of felt like he was prey and Snafu was stalking him as he backed him into the wall. The look on his face was quite as potent as his words had been and Eugene's body responded to it, aching for Snafu in a way he hadn't realized he wanted until Snafu awakened the things he'd kept hidden.]
Yes.
[The word was low, shaky but he meant it, there wasn't the least hesitation in giving the go to Snafu. There was really no coming back from it. No coming back from giving into Snafu but that's what he wanted, he was sure of it. He met the other's eyes, feeling trapped and set free at the same time in how Snafu pressed him to that wall, narrowing the world so that only he... they existed.]
[For a moment, Snafu could only stare at Eugene in wonder. He was really there, his face sweet and innocent aside from the blacked out hollows that lurked behind all of their eyes now, his body warm and pliant, his voice trembling because he wanted this so badly. It all felt like a dream, like it could slant sideways and disappear at any moment, but it was real.
He was almost carried away by the urge to do something tender, but instead he leaned in and crushed his mouth against Eugene's, nudging the small of his back off the wall with one hand so that he could rest it there and pull their bodies flush. No one could walk in this time, which meant that Snafu was completely unrestrained, tongue curling and sliding across Eugene's and both hands eventually fisting in the back of his shirt. He couldn't help but be torn between wanting this to be as good for Eugene as possible and needing it to happen now.]
[Eugene didn't look away from Snafu, seeing something that was familiar but suddenly meant more. Everything else that they both carried after the war was still there too but there was something good, for them in Snafu's eyes too and Eugene was willing to give Snafu anything to make sure that good stayed there. That it grew.
This time it was different. The feel of the air was even more electric, skittering over his skin as Snafu's mouth crashed into his. Eugene moaned, less restrained than he had been. There was no instinctive worry that this father or mother might walk in and see their son like this. He could give himself over to Snafu, trust him. His body arched as the other's hands pressed between him and the wall, drawing their bodies close.
Pleasure and desire blossomed further, the other's words echoing in his head again and he lifted his hands, curling them into Snafu's sides as he kissed him. Snafu's tongue was in his mouth, filling him with the taste that was nothing like Eugene'd really had before and he responded using his instincts and not second guessing. His tongue pressed to Snafu's, sucking gently if a bit tentatively despite the kiss itself not being so.]
[Eugene's new responsiveness hit Snafu's veins like a drug, every new proof of it - the moan from deep in his throat, the arch of his body to bring theirs into closer contact, the nudge of his hot tongue into Snafu's mouth - sending shudders through his body. It gave him a false sense of frailty, the way he kept trembling, because he was not at all on the verge of collapsing under the weight of this happiness.
In fact, he was buoyed by it, and it only kept ramping up his desire for the man in his arms. When having him pressed against the wall was no longer enough, he grabbed Eugene by the waist and spun him around, guiding him back to the bed without ever breaking their string of ravenous kisses. Eugene's knees eventually hit the mattress and Snafu pushed him down, climbing over his body to straddle him and pin him down by the hips; eyes blazing from above him, he started to work on unbuttoning Eugene's shirt.]
[To say Eugene had never kissed anyone like this would've been a huge understatement. He'd never even dreamed of kissing like this before, the way it was all consuming and intoxicating and all that he could think about was Snafu's lips against his own and how right it felt after all this time and everything they'd gone though.
He barely recognized they were moving until he felt his knees against the mattress, the hungry kiss breaking when he felt it pressing into his back and Snafu firmly over him. His eyes met the other's and they were almost too intense. He swallowed hard, the other's words echoing in his head again. He reached up to work on opening up Snafu's shirt as well, just as eager to have him.]
snaf, why'd you wait so long? [There were a million reasons it could be, probably was but he wanted to know what he would select as the reason.]
His hands stilled just as he was about to pop a button, and that fierce intensity left his eyes, replaced by an oddly lost look before he glanced away. Even with Eugene right under him, ready and willing, the question took him back so fast and hard that his head reeled with vertigo. There were a million reasons, but he didn't want to sneer something about fucking on piles of corpses that sunk slowly into the mud with every thrust - with anyone else, he probably would've gone that dark and disgusting to save face, but not Sledge.
No, Sledge had seen this lost look in his eyes before. He'd seen Snafu shrink up as the artificial size he created around himself with attitude and bombast deflated, then his physical body curled up in turn, until he almost seemed to grow translucent around the edges because he usually shone so bright. Eugene had seen more of him than almost anyone else.]
Shit. [He chuckled, but the sound didn't come with a smile.] I weren't waitin', Sledge. Back then - there - I ain't never thought anything like this could happen. Not really.
[Eugene's hands didn't stop until they had finished unbuttoning Snafu's shirt, even when the other had, even with that lost look. It made his heart clench. He recognized it and he regretted the question. It was a dumb thing to ask and he shouldn't have. He bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to feel a shooting pain as he stared up at him.
The shirt was undone and Eugene kept his eyes on Snafu, still feeling regret for even asking as he answered.] You didn't think I... [Honestly, Eugene wouldn't have thought he would either until he did, until Snafu had kissed him and it made more sense than anything had in a long time.] I shouldn't have asked.
[His fingers slid over the other's stomach, hands splaying upward as he looked at him.]
[No more than it would've been about anyone else in the Marines, away at war: not the first or even the last place Snafu would've thought of making a match. But Eugene wore him down without trying, a deadpan joke here and a heartbreakingly conflicted frown there, until Snafu knew he'd be risking too much even just by making a play for something physical. A nameless, meaningless source of relief. It would never have worked.
It wasn't really about Eugene, though, even for all that. It was about the war, and Snafu falling where he never should've let himself, and the empty husk of who he once was being all he had to offer.
His eyes fluttered shut as Eugene's warm hands worked their way up his bare stomach, muscles twitching under the touch. He was still every bit as desperate as he'd been seconds ago, but just for this brief moment in time, he wanted to slow things down and savour the touch.]
Yeah, I understand. [Eugene wasn't sure he did completely but he understood enough. He felt guilty for asking the question still, unsure if he'd done damage to what was happening between them even if the other was still there. His hands kept moving up, fingers brushing over nipples then spreading out over his shoulders.] Snafu... It doesn't matter now. Now, you have me.
[The words were soft and to think earlier that day he'd felt alone and lost and then Snafu came and the world righted again, he wasn't alone. No one understood who he was, what he'd gone through better. No one knew who he had become because of the war more than Snafu and Eugene knew that was only the tail end of what made this so right between them. It wasn't just shared experience. And despite knowing what people would think if they found out, that no one would accept them, to Eugene it was right.]
I'm not going anywhere. [He murmured, hands sliding behind the other's neck, tugging his head down as he kept his eyes on his.]
[Eugene had seen him look scared and overwhelmed before, in moments when both of them felt their toes curl around the edge of sanity and could only use one another to brace against the screaming wind that wanted to provide that final nudge. Even though he was still scared, and still overwhelmed, this looked different; he was being presented with a chance at happiness, not oblivion, and not some random act of fate but a specific happiness he'd craved for years.]
I got you. [He repeated it with shaky disbelief, eyes huge and glassy as they gazed at one another from such close range.] You - you ain't goin' nowhere. Gene -
[When he tucked his face deep into the crook of Eugene's neck, the way his body had started to tremble and seize could've been laughter or tears, and the sound didn't make it any clearer.]
[Eugene nodded, closing his eyes as the other's face pressed into his neck. He held him gently then. There was so much they'd been through to get here and there was so much about being here and he knew that was something that was hard in it's way for Snafu, much harder than it was for Eugene.]
Yeah, I'm here. I'll always be here. [He promised, words whispered into his ear, fingers sliding through his hair while his other hand ran down his back gently. He didn't know whether it was laughter or tears but it didn't really matter either way.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2016-08-19 08:00 am (UTC)As Snafu spoke it made more sense to him. There was fear that was dredged up with it as well but Eugene wasn't one that gave in to fear often, if at all.]
Yes. [Eugene said softly, his fingers twitched and he wanted to touch Snafu but he was found himself giving into the fear that any wrong movement would break this moment.] Do you really have to ask that? [His head inclined slightly, meeting Snafu's eyes, his own following that trajectory the other had where the gaze dropped to the other's lips and then back to his eyes.]
You're... [He stumbled, searching for the words.] You always were...for me.
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Date: 2016-08-19 08:11 am (UTC)When he realized that Eugene had snuck the same sort of furtive glance at his mouth, his lips suddenly felt so dry that he had to lick them top and bottom. This was so impossible, so much harder than getting smacked across the face by girls until one finally decided to take a chance on him instead. He wanted to ask Eugene if he really understood what Snafu meant by more, exactly how much more, but neither of them were doing well at talking.
So instead, he cupped Eugene's jaw more firmly in his hand and tilted his head to just the right angle, then leaned in and kissed him softly. The kiss was tentative, not gentle, because Snafu knew there had still been room for misinterpretation when he did it - no "gentle" kiss ever ached with this much restrained hunger, soft as it was, like it could easily turn a corner into fierce desperation with the slightest encouragement.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 08:28 am (UTC)And then Snafu's lips were on his. Eugene felt a wave of shock at first at the contact a part of him panicking and thinking about society, about his family. But some part of his ability to truly care about that had died somewhere on those islands. Somewhere in the jungle was his ability to give a shit about anything other than what really mattered.
What mattered was Snafu... and he'd just kissed him. Eugene could feel the unrestrained ache that called out to his own. He reached up, cupping the side of the other's face as he kissed back. He didn't really know what he was doing but luckily kissing was something that tended to come naturally for the human race.
Snafu was more. He'd always been more but Eugene had never really pictured this but now that it was happening he realized it had been there that desire all along.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 08:39 am (UTC)They could find time now, though, here in this small Alabama town. It wasn't exactly the perfect setting for their type of... feelings, Snafu thought, still a bit leery of dropping the L-word, but a sight better than World War II. And so that barrier shattered and Snafu slid his hand around the back of Eugene's head to fist in his hair, tugging his head to the right angle just a bit more roughly than he'd tilted it with his hand, then licking right into his mouth without further preamble. Choked little noises kept trying to escape him, gasps that became vocalized just at the end, but he'd just push harder against Eugene's mouth every time; making noises like that was too vulnerable for him, even if Eugene had to have realized by now that this had been building in Snafu for awhile.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 08:49 am (UTC)The kiss was like nothing Eugene had ever felt. It was hungry desperate and it called to something inside of him that echoed all of those things. He hadn't realized it until Snafu awakened in him. But he couldn't forget where they were.
There was a soft sound of regret when Eugene broke away from Snafu. His hand dropping to his shoulder and his forehead resting against the other's before he moved back.]
Not here. [He said quickly, his breath coming quickly and he wanted nothing more than to kiss him again.] My father... [He gestured toward the open archway that led into the area they were in. That was the only reason.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 02:49 pm (UTC)Still, he stayed close for the moment, combing his fingers through Eugene's hair and just staring into his eyes for a moment before his smile turned utterly wicked.]
I still got a hotel room here for at least the night.
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Date: 2016-08-19 09:03 pm (UTC)The other's fingers still in his hair was a calming sensation, soothing away that fear that rose immediately. It'd been just as potent as the fear of discovery.
He already disappointed his parents too much, this was one thing he couldn't subject them to ever finding knowledge of. His father's understanding could only be expected to go so far.
But there was that smile. That made Eugene blush, he could feel the heat spreading and he cleared his throat, looking away from Snafu.] Okay.
[There would be simple enough explanations for his going to town with Snafu. His parents would just be pleased that he's leaving the property.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 10:00 pm (UTC)[It was hard for Snafu to work out if he was happy, relieved, excited, nervous, scared, or just a bundle of undefined energy because seeing Eugene again had already been such a rollercoaster, but he didn't dwell on that long. The spring in his step could easily have been from little more than reuniting with a friend, as could the bit of extra electricity behind his smile.
He was sure to swing past both of Eugene's parents once more before they left, thanking them for having him in their home and telling his mother in particular what a beautiful home it was: maybe unexpectedly for Eugene, Snafu could put on the charm when he really needed it, and he wasn't making all the help Eugene wanted to give him any harder by being rude to the parents.
Once they were in his car, though, he couldn't stop flashing Eugene that anticipatory sidelong grin. His fingers constantly drummed against the steering wheel with excess energy as he drove them back to the hotel. Inwardly, he was also preparing himself for the fact that this could go exactly nowhere, but - it would be worth it just to kiss Eugene again and feel him respond. He'd waited so long for that without ever thinking he'd get it.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 10:18 pm (UTC)As they were leaving he saw an expression on his father's face like hope and relief that maybe Eugene was coming back home. Eugene figured maybe it was true, feeling more alive than he had in a long time.
Maybe it wouldn't last but for now, he was okay out of the darkness.
The entire way to then hotel, Eugene watched Snafu carefully, his own body thrumming with anticipation, desire awakened.]
What you thinking?
[he asked and his hand reached over and slid through his hair, sliding down the back of his neck before dropping away, hesitant and partly worried someone would somehow see and know.]
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Date: 2016-08-19 11:25 pm (UTC)The corner of his mouth twitched upward once or twice before he actually managed to smile, eyes sliding back to Eugene for as long as he could afford while on the road.]
I'm thinkin' 'bout how long I wanted to touch you, and all the different ways, and all the shit I did to get close without bein' too close, and how now we're both finally free, away from that fuckin' war, and all I wanna do is hear you scream 'cause somethin's so damn good you can barely stand it for once.
[Well, it was an honest answer, and an evocative one. As if to punctuate it, he pulled into the hotel's parking lot so sharply that gravel shot out from under his tires in a wave, then looked at Eugene more directly.]
Why. What're you thinkin'?
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Date: 2016-08-19 11:57 pm (UTC)He wouldn't mind it though. It was right, for him.]
I... [He trailed off, clearing his throat and having a hard time looking at Snafu and knowing his face was surely still not it's natural color.] How long? [Eugene asked instead, not sure what exactly he was thinking because now he couldn't stop thinking about what Snafu had said.
Now that they were both free... Could they do that for each other? Give each other something so good and could that last? Would this become a casualty at some point?]
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Date: 2016-08-20 12:26 am (UTC)He couldn't say too much more in the car, though, because they had to get to the room before Eugene ended up fully aroused from words alone. Grinning almost gently, he brushed his knuckles down Eugene's flushed cheek in a soft caress as he took the time to answer that question first. It was a big one, but Snafu had only been talking about attraction, nothing deeper - that was an important distinction.]
From the first time I saw you, Sledgehammer. Can't believe you never saw it burnin' away in my eyes every time I looked at you.
[With that, he swung his door open and pocketed his keys, standing with his usual loose-limbed ease as he waited for Eugene to join him.]
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Date: 2016-08-20 12:36 am (UTC)He realized then that he had saw it but at the time he hadn't known what it meant. There was no chance to say anything back and he exhaled, shifting uncomfortably in the seat again and feeling like everyone would be able to see right through him as he got out of the car. His hands quickly shoved down into his pants, keeping his gaze downward because he was sure if he looked at Snafu again he was going to go bright red once more.
He walked with him, more than ready to get into the privacy of the hotel room. A part of him was sure that everyone would know but he knew that was ludicrous. No one's minds just went there.]
I never knew what that look meant.
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Date: 2016-08-20 02:16 am (UTC)When Eugene finally commented on what he'd said, Snafu averted his eyes, almost childishly pleased at having been noticed even if it wasn't understood. He didn't speak up or look at Eugene again until they were both in the room, the door closed behind them - at which point he locked eyes with Eugene and started to slowly, slowly back him up into the nearest wall. He didn't just look like he wanted Eugene, he looked like he wanted to devour him.
He didn't stop his forward progression until Eugene's back was pressed flat against the wall and there was barely enough room between them to breathe, at which point he pressed one hand against the wall beside Eugene's head, then the other on the opposite side.]
You ready?
[It was a warning of sorts, just as it sounded: not that they couldn't stop once they started, but that if he stayed on board, this would be far more everything than he could've possibly imagined.]
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Date: 2016-08-20 02:45 am (UTC)It was a relief to finally be in the room, even though Eugene sort of felt like he was prey and Snafu was stalking him as he backed him into the wall. The look on his face was quite as potent as his words had been and Eugene's body responded to it, aching for Snafu in a way he hadn't realized he wanted until Snafu awakened the things he'd kept hidden.]
Yes.
[The word was low, shaky but he meant it, there wasn't the least hesitation in giving the go to Snafu. There was really no coming back from it. No coming back from giving into Snafu but that's what he wanted, he was sure of it. He met the other's eyes, feeling trapped and set free at the same time in how Snafu pressed him to that wall, narrowing the world so that only he... they existed.]
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Date: 2016-08-20 09:12 pm (UTC)He was almost carried away by the urge to do something tender, but instead he leaned in and crushed his mouth against Eugene's, nudging the small of his back off the wall with one hand so that he could rest it there and pull their bodies flush. No one could walk in this time, which meant that Snafu was completely unrestrained, tongue curling and sliding across Eugene's and both hands eventually fisting in the back of his shirt. He couldn't help but be torn between wanting this to be as good for Eugene as possible and needing it to happen now.]
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Date: 2016-08-20 09:22 pm (UTC)This time it was different. The feel of the air was even more electric, skittering over his skin as Snafu's mouth crashed into his. Eugene moaned, less restrained than he had been. There was no instinctive worry that this father or mother might walk in and see their son like this. He could give himself over to Snafu, trust him. His body arched as the other's hands pressed between him and the wall, drawing their bodies close.
Pleasure and desire blossomed further, the other's words echoing in his head again and he lifted his hands, curling them into Snafu's sides as he kissed him. Snafu's tongue was in his mouth, filling him with the taste that was nothing like Eugene'd really had before and he responded using his instincts and not second guessing. His tongue pressed to Snafu's, sucking gently if a bit tentatively despite the kiss itself not being so.]
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Date: 2016-08-25 06:04 pm (UTC)In fact, he was buoyed by it, and it only kept ramping up his desire for the man in his arms. When having him pressed against the wall was no longer enough, he grabbed Eugene by the waist and spun him around, guiding him back to the bed without ever breaking their string of ravenous kisses. Eugene's knees eventually hit the mattress and Snafu pushed him down, climbing over his body to straddle him and pin him down by the hips; eyes blazing from above him, he started to work on unbuttoning Eugene's shirt.]
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Date: 2016-08-25 06:35 pm (UTC)He barely recognized they were moving until he felt his knees against the mattress, the hungry kiss breaking when he felt it pressing into his back and Snafu firmly over him. His eyes met the other's and they were almost too intense. He swallowed hard, the other's words echoing in his head again. He reached up to work on opening up Snafu's shirt as well, just as eager to have him.]
snaf, why'd you wait so long? [There were a million reasons it could be, probably was but he wanted to know what he would select as the reason.]
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Date: 2016-08-25 06:50 pm (UTC)His hands stilled just as he was about to pop a button, and that fierce intensity left his eyes, replaced by an oddly lost look before he glanced away. Even with Eugene right under him, ready and willing, the question took him back so fast and hard that his head reeled with vertigo. There were a million reasons, but he didn't want to sneer something about fucking on piles of corpses that sunk slowly into the mud with every thrust - with anyone else, he probably would've gone that dark and disgusting to save face, but not Sledge.
No, Sledge had seen this lost look in his eyes before. He'd seen Snafu shrink up as the artificial size he created around himself with attitude and bombast deflated, then his physical body curled up in turn, until he almost seemed to grow translucent around the edges because he usually shone so bright. Eugene had seen more of him than almost anyone else.]
Shit. [He chuckled, but the sound didn't come with a smile.] I weren't waitin', Sledge. Back then - there - I ain't never thought anything like this could happen. Not really.
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Date: 2016-08-25 06:57 pm (UTC)The shirt was undone and Eugene kept his eyes on Snafu, still feeling regret for even asking as he answered.] You didn't think I... [Honestly, Eugene wouldn't have thought he would either until he did, until Snafu had kissed him and it made more sense than anything had in a long time.] I shouldn't have asked.
[His fingers slid over the other's stomach, hands splaying upward as he looked at him.]
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Date: 2016-08-25 07:47 pm (UTC)[No more than it would've been about anyone else in the Marines, away at war: not the first or even the last place Snafu would've thought of making a match. But Eugene wore him down without trying, a deadpan joke here and a heartbreakingly conflicted frown there, until Snafu knew he'd be risking too much even just by making a play for something physical. A nameless, meaningless source of relief. It would never have worked.
It wasn't really about Eugene, though, even for all that. It was about the war, and Snafu falling where he never should've let himself, and the empty husk of who he once was being all he had to offer.
His eyes fluttered shut as Eugene's warm hands worked their way up his bare stomach, muscles twitching under the touch. He was still every bit as desperate as he'd been seconds ago, but just for this brief moment in time, he wanted to slow things down and savour the touch.]
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Date: 2016-08-25 08:00 pm (UTC)[The words were soft and to think earlier that day he'd felt alone and lost and then Snafu came and the world righted again, he wasn't alone. No one understood who he was, what he'd gone through better. No one knew who he had become because of the war more than Snafu and Eugene knew that was only the tail end of what made this so right between them. It wasn't just shared experience. And despite knowing what people would think if they found out, that no one would accept them, to Eugene it was right.]
I'm not going anywhere. [He murmured, hands sliding behind the other's neck, tugging his head down as he kept his eyes on his.]
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Date: 2016-08-31 08:47 pm (UTC)I got you. [He repeated it with shaky disbelief, eyes huge and glassy as they gazed at one another from such close range.] You - you ain't goin' nowhere. Gene -
[When he tucked his face deep into the crook of Eugene's neck, the way his body had started to tremble and seize could've been laughter or tears, and the sound didn't make it any clearer.]
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Date: 2016-08-31 11:32 pm (UTC)Yeah, I'm here. I'll always be here. [He promised, words whispered into his ear, fingers sliding through his hair while his other hand ran down his back gently. He didn't know whether it was laughter or tears but it didn't really matter either way.]
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