[Just as Roe thought. Merriell panicked, same as he did when he was meant to see Roe before leaving Louisiana. Not coming back here probably wasn't just a gesture to shake off Sledge if he came looking, given how complicated things must have appeared to him at that point - a thought that made Roe need to press his lips together tightly for a moment before he could say more.]
Then he probably loves you. [Roe's voice was barely above a whisper, and he didn't approach Sledge at all physically, but his expression was one of reaching out rather than closing off. He didn't want to hate this man over all of this when neither of them had anything the other didn't, not now.]
It's alright, Sledge. Do what you need. I can leave you alone for a bit if you like.
I don't know if that makes it better or worse. [Sledge couldn't help the sharp laugh that followed the words, though it sounded anything but happy. It was the kind of laugh that was distinctly made by someone trying not to cry. It wasn't one of the panic attacks that he would get at the idea of shooting game when he was with his father. It was an entirely different sort.
But he wasn't going to cry. Not here, not in a strangers house no matter how understanding and kind the stranger was. He counted to ten and then did it again staring at the bottle and willing down the emotions that were clawing to get out from the way he held them inside so carefully.]
[Only once Sledge had clearly pulled himself back together did Roe move to sit across from him again, shaking out another cigarette for himself and thinking - with another tiny twinge of pain - that he was smoking how Merriell used to, practically lighting one off the end of another.]
Both, I think. It ain't easy to be punished for somethin' you did right, but still better than doin' it wrong. 'Least that's how it felt for me.
[And there it was, finally in the open air and explicitly stated. He didn't even really intend to get that personal at first, but it naturally followed the rest of what he'd said, and he felt a bit odd telling Sledge so much about his situation without explaining that he knew through personal experience rather than just as a witness.
But that was bound to hurt him as well. There was no avoiding pain in this situation. The best he could do was hold the pack out to Sledge, realizing belatedly that he hadn't the first time.]
[Sledge didn't feel any worse after it was confirmed. He'd already been relatively sure but now the words were out there as well. He sighed, reluctant to say anything just yet. They'd both been wounded by the same man and left to deal with it afterwards.
And here they were finding each other. That'd been because of Merriell too -- Merriell talking about Roe. Was Merriell going to talk about him to some other next? If he did, Sledge hoped he never knew.
He hadn't brought his pipe with him while he was out and so he reached to take a cigarette without much of an answer to the question. It was enough of one.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2016-10-04 11:48 pm (UTC)Then he probably loves you. [Roe's voice was barely above a whisper, and he didn't approach Sledge at all physically, but his expression was one of reaching out rather than closing off. He didn't want to hate this man over all of this when neither of them had anything the other didn't, not now.]
It's alright, Sledge. Do what you need. I can leave you alone for a bit if you like.
no subject
Date: 2016-10-05 03:15 am (UTC)But he wasn't going to cry. Not here, not in a strangers house no matter how understanding and kind the stranger was. He counted to ten and then did it again staring at the bottle and willing down the emotions that were clawing to get out from the way he held them inside so carefully.]
You're fine. [He finally said, shaking his head.]
no subject
Date: 2016-10-05 06:14 am (UTC)Both, I think. It ain't easy to be punished for somethin' you did right, but still better than doin' it wrong. 'Least that's how it felt for me.
[And there it was, finally in the open air and explicitly stated. He didn't even really intend to get that personal at first, but it naturally followed the rest of what he'd said, and he felt a bit odd telling Sledge so much about his situation without explaining that he knew through personal experience rather than just as a witness.
But that was bound to hurt him as well. There was no avoiding pain in this situation. The best he could do was hold the pack out to Sledge, realizing belatedly that he hadn't the first time.]
Sorry, you smoke?
no subject
Date: 2016-10-06 03:11 am (UTC)And here they were finding each other. That'd been because of Merriell too -- Merriell talking about Roe. Was Merriell going to talk about him to some other next? If he did, Sledge hoped he never knew.
He hadn't brought his pipe with him while he was out and so he reached to take a cigarette without much of an answer to the question. It was enough of one.]
Picked up a few bad habits in the war, I suppose.