for shokola

[dungarees]

[Eugene had ended up staying in Louisiana. He'd start his studies soon and he found that it'd been a bit easier to deal with himself once he was away from his family. He loved them but there had been a constant pressure -- mostly from his mother -- to do more, to be fine when he wasn't. There was little of that here.

And he'd spent more and more time with Roe. It seemed odd to do so. But now he was headed to his place in what would really be the final nail on how odd all of this was. Ironic, perhaps was a better word. His knocked on his door light, remembering again the first time he'd stood here.

Was this right? Was this good for either of them to be going down this road? Could he even trust himself that this was really because of Roe. That for Roe it really was about Sledge? They were all they had left of something that had left them both hurting. It was hard know where one thing ended and another began.]

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[shokola]

[For all that Roe had reassured Sledge throughout the conversation preceding this moment - and he hadn't lied, either - he still felt a jolt of self-conscious nervousness shoot through him at that knock on the door. He always had a very tidy, well-groomed look about him, even when dressed down for a slower day, which meant that he was able to look good for this meeting without appearing as though he'd taken undue care with it; his nerves weren't really about his grooming, though, or his general appearance. Maybe in part, but not entirely.

He was just acutely aware of all the ways he wasn't Merriell Shelton for the first time, particularly the ways that could be taken as negative: small and slight, pale, a naturally stern expression that could cause worry about his mood even when he was utterly impassive, no real predisposition to laughter, extreme economy in his choice of words and when to speak at all, not likely to do anything all that rash outside of life or death situations; even though Merriell was the one who'd left them both in such pain, he couldn't help holding himself up in comparison when he knew Sledge had also cared for the man so much, and he felt bland and dull alongside Merriell's incredible good looks and wild nature.

How ridiculous, though. Sledge wasn't coming here in an attempt to find Merriell again, not this time. He'd know better than anyone what an inappropriate choice Roe was as a direct replacement after their time spent together.

He straightened his spine, wiped his palms on his thighs, then strode to the door and opened it with one of his subtle smiles.]

Evenin', Sledge. Come on in.

[dungarees]

[Sledge gave Roe a small smile. He was more nervous now than he had been when he'd knocked or even when he'd sent the text that had brought them to this point in the first place. What was the protocol for these things anyway? It's not as if he had any experience in a normal situation after all.

Nothing about being with Merriell had been normal from beginning to end. He was sure that whirlwind romance in the war hadn't been how things were supposed to go.]

Evening, Roe. [He said, his accent more subdued than Roe's but still there all the same almost more pronounced the quieter he was but he moved inside the privacy of Roe's home and pushed aside the thoughts about the wisdom of this endeavor. There was no point in overthinking it. Who said there had to be a set formula for how these things worked.

Humans weren't nearly formulaic enough on an individual level for that.]

[shokola]

[Once Sledge was inside with the door closed, it became very plain very quickly that neither of them had any idea what they were doing. The silence that stretched out between them wasn't actually that long, but it felt like hours to Roe as he tried to decide what he should say and found that nothing occurred to him, as though both English and French had vacated his brain.]

Would you like somethin' to drink? [Of course. This wasn't some sort of seduction, despite how it had started, so they weren't exactly about to fall all over one another the second they had some privacy. Both of them thought far too much for that, needing someone a bit more reckless to -

- well. He didn't have to take that thought any further.]

[dungarees]

[Neither Sledge nor Roe had ever been that talkative and there were more than a few times that their times spent together had been in relative quiet for the majority of it. Interspersed with commentary or questions or a story that came up. Neither of them ever seemed fixating on uselessly feeling the quiet with the sound of their voice.

Sledge felt like he should have something to say for this occasion though. He'd instigated something different. This time they spent together was meant to be different but he couldn't quite form any words to the effect.]

Beer. [He answered quickly, perhaps a beer or two would help them both.]

[shokola]

[He nodded at the answer, but rather than gesturing for Sledge to follow him into the kitchen as he sometimes would, he flicked a hand in the direction of the living room instead.]

Make y'self at home. [With that, he disappeared into the kitchen, coming back a moment later with two open beers. Whether in the kitchen, living room, or elsewhere in the house, Roe had always made a habit even he didn't quite understand of sitting across from Sledge, not just at a distance but directly facing him whenever he could; that fact finally occurred to him as he was considering where to place himself now, and he thought the best course of action was to settle in right beside him instead. They had to determine how comfortable they were with physical closeness before any of this could begin, since neither of them tended to show much affection in that way.

As he set down their beers and sat beside Sledge, close enough that their legs touched despite there being no shortage of space on the couch, he tilted a sidelong glance at him and couldn't bite back a wry hint of a grin.]

Shoulda got a chaperone to keep us under control. [He hoped it'd be clear that he wasn't only teasing Sledge with that statement, since he was giving off about the same negative levels of pure sexual magnetism that Sledge was, depsite his attraction being very much real.]

[dungarees]

[Sledge didn't really say anything as he went to sit on the couch. There was a sense of nervousness that he simply couldn't shake as he settled on it. It's not just that he had put himself out there with Roe and found it to be returned. There'd just never been anyone in his life he'd been intimate with before or after Shelton and what if this was all a huge mistake? What if they just ended up hurting each other more.

What if them both saying this wasn't about him it was about the other was just a line that they were both trying so hard to believe. He was really over thinking but the thoughts wouldn't stop and he rubbed his face as he waited for Roe to come back in. There were few times that he could think of where he had wanted a beer so badly.

He smiled at Roe when he came back in and he really was attracted to him, wanting to explore all of this despite all the misgivings and doubts that were clustering in his mind.] Thanks. [He had murmured when he took the beer, his eyes drawing to the warmth where their legs connected.]

We're completely out of hand. [He said, a small grin pulling at the corners of his lips before he took a drink of the beer.]

[shokola]

[Sledge was sweet. He was really, really sweet, in an understated sort of way that suited Roe's temperament just fine. Honestly, he thought he'd prefer a whole lot less excitement in his life post-war than he could tolerate pre-war, so it didn't bother him to think of spending even more time with someone only slightly less subdued than him.

And there was still the chance this wouldn't go well and they'd decide to put it behind them. It was a comfort to know that they'd both likely prove mature enough to maintain a friendship after such a thing, too.

With that thought in mind, he decided to take the first step; after considering a hand on Sledge's knee for a second or two, he reconsidered and slung his arm around Sledge's shoulders instead, a very silly and traditional gesture but one that felt more comfortable to him. Once he'd adjusted to that, he lifted his hand to run his fingers lightly through Sledge's hair, admiring the colour for what was definitely not the first time.]

You know, I'm glad you decided to stay here, Sledge. It's been real good gettin' to know you.

[dungarees]

[The little things that were different about this time he was visiting Roe were quickly adding up. The way they were sitting so close, the way that Sledge was all too eager to drink his beer as if it would calm his nerves even though he knew it wouldn't really.

But it was the touch that really sealed that this was different and real and if it had been some sort of twisted misplaced emotions then the touch wouldn't have felt so good. As simple as it was, on his knee and then the weight of his arm around his shoulders, so simple but profound to Sledge in a way.

That was sort of like Roe, he supposed. Simple but still profound.]

Yeah? [He'd lost some of his general well spoken manner, distracted by the gentle fingers in his hair that had more of a calming affect on him than the alcohol had had.]

It's been good getting to know you too. [He reached to set the beer down before turning his gaze to Roe fully.] I've never been with anyone outside the war. I don't think I know how this works when nobody's worried about whether they'll see tomorrow.

[shokola]

Can't stop and think out there even if you wanna. Good for gettin' those of us who think too much to do somethin' that insane.

[It appeared that there were still many, many layers of Roe to uncover, not only when it came to his personality but his past as well, since that statement seemed to suggest that he'd had some experience with war "romances" which he'd never brought up before. Not that what had happened with Babe Heffron was at all relevant, at least in Roe's mind, as they'd ended it on clear terms before they parted.

And he'd never thought he could be so thankful for that fact, but in the face of what Merriell had pulled again, he was. Deeply, deeply thankful, even as he ached with empathy for Sledge.]

But I'd say it works 'bout the same, mostly. You done most of the hard part already. All's left is... [Acting on what they knew about each other, their mutual interest. Since Sledge really did do the heavy lifting by putting the issue on the table in the first place, Roe shouldered this one, gripping the nape of Sledge's neck just a bit more tightly to pull him in for a slow, soft, almost exploratory kiss.]

[dungarees]

[There wasn't time to think too hard on that statement for now, but the information, the questions about Roe and the desire to know more carefully filed it in a place in his memory that would be easily accessible later, to explore. it'd only serve to make the obvious even more plain, there was a hell of a lot he didn't know about Roe. He was pretty sure they were on uneven grounds when it came to how much they knew about each other.

Then again, maybe that's just because there was less to know about sledge.

It wasn't all that often that Roe had more to say than Sledge. Neither of them were all that big on talking but still Sledge had usually found himself talking to Roe's listening more often than not. But Roe's voice almost more soothing than the word's themselves and he knew what was coming when he trailed off.

If the words hadn't been enough than the grip on his neck would've been. He returned the kiss, eyes falling shut and damn if it weren't completely different from everything he'd known. He hardly knew how to respond, but he did, earnest but still soft, not rushing it as they explored this for the first time. It wasn't heated fireworks like there'd been with shelton but things with Roe had always been a slow burn it stood to reason their kissing would be too.]

[shokola]

[As Sledge's lips softened against his, Roe couldn't help but sigh into the kiss, thinking that it was oddly pleasant to take his time like this. Neither of his male partners had been much for taking their time, and he'd thought he should be more aggressive with women than was probably necessary, so this was fairly new to him as well. Doing anything without pushing himself as close as he could get to the limit without breaking was new to him.

But this wasn't to be rushed, not with the circumstances around it or the way it had developed so far. Roe's fingers curled against the neatly trimmed line of hair at the nape of Sledge's neck, and he parted his lips to tease his tongue across Sledge's mouth, more trying to coax him into opening it himself than the blunt force entry he'd always been used to.]

[dungarees]

[This was nice. Sledge honestly might not have been able to take the type of kiss he'd been used to getting from Shelton. This was tender and nursed away at the insecurities that had been plaguing him, like they were slowly being kissed away.

The tongue against his lips surprised him only for a moment before he parted them even int his slower pace there was still an eagerness to taste more, to know Roe more. His hand reached up to cup the other's cheek, caressing along his jaw as they kissed. There was a part of Sledge that thought this might be some sort of dream but the warmth Roe's skin beneath his fingers indicated otherwise.]